Some classic urban legends keep coming back up, like - well, like an elevator.
The legend I have in mind is the one I call "The Elevator Incident." A few years ago this story was the hottest one around, and it's still being told with only minor plot changes. Just last weekend I heard it told at a librarians' conference I attended in Colorado.The scene is a swanky New York City hotel. A large black man and his fierce-looking black dog are sharing an elevator with three middle-aged white women tourists. The black man says "Sit, Lady!" and all three women, apparently believing he is a mugger, sit down on the elevator floor.
The man explains that he was speaking to his dog, and he helps the women to their feet.
It turns out that he is Reggie Jackson. He apologizes to the women for frightening them, then buys them dinner to make up for the scare.
At least that's the way I first heard it. As the story was repeated, the setting was changed to Atlantic City or Las Vegas and the celebrity became Lionel Richie. In most versions the women tourists were said to be bringing their gambling winnings up to their room when they met the man and his dog.
Like most urban legends, "The Elevator Incident" is supposed to have happened to actual friends of friends of the teller. But nobody ever describes the experience firsthand, and both Jackson and Richie have publicly denied it - which should give you an idea of how prevalent the legend has been.
Sometimes the man in the elevator has no dog with him, but says "Hit the floor" or "Hit four." The women hit the floor themselves.
Newspapers, which should be debunking such stories, have played a role in giving them credibility.
In the Milwaukee Sentinel for Jan. 10, writer Alex Thien credited "The Elevator Incident" to an acquaintance. The two men in the elevator - neither black nor celebrities, but very big - said "Hit the floor, lady!"
In the Chicago Sun-Times for Feb. 7, columnist Irv Kupcinet attributed the story to a suburban Chicago couple who supposedly have in their possession a signed note from Lionel Richie apologizing for the incident.
On March 2 the story was told in The Cleveland Edition as having happened to a local couple when they ran into Eddie Murphy in a Las Vegas elevator.
Three days later, Al Turner's column in the Edmonton (Alberta, Canada) Journal said it happened to a woman from that city when she met Lionel Richie in a Las Vegas elevator. Lionel left a note of apology.
Another recent version set the scene in New York; the celeb was Eddie Murphy; and his note read, "Thanks for the laugh."
In 1983 I heard an English variation in which a parliamentary official called "The Keeper of the Woolsack" came into a hallway in the House of Parliament, still wearing his ceremonial red and gold robes and a large wig.
The official spotted a friend of his across the hall, so he shouted, "Neil! Neil!" A group of American tourists abruptly knelt down before him.
The man-with-dog version of the story is probably older. It was worked into an episode of "The Bob Newhart Show" that first aired in 1973. The episode must be rerun of-ten, because I frequently get letters from people who have seen it and recognized the recent legend's plot.
In his book "Classic Sitcoms," Vince Waldron called this "one of the series' most memorable throwaway gags," and described it like this:
"The high-strung dentist hears an imposing black man bark out the command to `Sit, Whitey!' - which Jerry does - before he realizes the order was intended for the man's perversely named dog, Whitey."
Probably the elevator story was going around at the time, and the "Bob Newhart" script writers added the pun on the dog's name when they incorporated the story into the plot line.
Unfortunately, though I've heard and read "The Elevator Incident" many times, I've never managed to catch a rerun of the "Bob Newhart Show" episode.
But I did write to Bob Newhart in 1983 asking if he recalled the episode. His reply: "Yes, and it got one of the largest laughs we ever got in the six years of the show."
C) 1989 United Feature Syndicate Inc.