You can say almost anything about New Yorkers but you have to watch what you say about their squirrels.
The city's police, parks department and the town's most authoritative newspaper were in a furry fury Friday over a London newspaper report that squirrels in Central Park have become drug-crazed from eating half-empty vials of crack tossed in the bushes by addicts.The London Daily Mirror said the problem was so bad that lunch-time strollers were being attacked and it quoted a park supervisor named Carl Langford as the source for the report.
Police said they had no reports of anyone being attacked by a drug-crazed squirrel.
The Parks Department said it doesn't have a Carl Langford working for it and that squirrels don't eat crack vials and that no crack addict is going to toss away a half empty vial anyway. The squirrels go after nuts and the crack addicts aren't crazy.
And the Times said of the squirrels: "Yes, they scamper and frolic but they're not high."
Norman Garrett, a spokesman for the Parks Department, said, "Our squirrels are too busy gathering nuts for the wintertime to bother with drugs."
A spokesman for the London Mirror was not available for comment in New York.
But if New York City operated its own newspaper the headline might be "CITY TO LONDON MIRROR: NUTS TO YOU, JACK."