Just when you thought dinomania had peaked, just as Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park" finally landed in the dollar theaters and began to wind down at the box office, along comes "Weird Al" Yankovic and his new album "Alapalooza" - with its lead song, "Jurassic Park."
Who else would think of adapting that ridiculously popular movie's themes to new lyrics for Jimmy Webb's classic ditty "MacArthur Park" (a hit for actor Richard Harris back in 1968 and Donna Summer 10 years later)?The album cover is an amusing parody of the "Jurassic Park" logo, with Yankovic's own head silhouetted on the familiar T. rex form - but the song itself is absolutely hilarious:
I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes
And before long, they were cloning DNA
Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors
Well, believe me . . . this has been one lousy day
CHORUS:
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it's kind eerie
But this proves my chaos theory
And I don't think I'll be coming back again
Oh no . . .
The verses getting the biggest laughs, however, have to do with what would seem to be the most predictable elements, and certainly those that have already been the subject of innumerable jokes - lawyers and Barney.
But Yankovic puts a clever spin on each:
I cannot approve of this attraction
'Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer
Well, I suppose that proves . . . they're really not all bad
CHORUS:
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let the T. rex out of his pen
I'm afraid those things'll harm me
'Cause they sure don't act like Barney
And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend
Oh no . . .
If that's not enough, Yankovic also has a ditty called "Bedrock Anthem," a tribute to "The Flintstones" - that upcoming Spielberg "dinosaur" movie - which is a parody of "Under the Bridge" and "Give It Away" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
If you can hum "MacArthur Park" without hesitation but think Red Hot Chili Peppers are simply part of the meal in a Mexican restaurant, this one may be lost on you.
- SPEAKING OF THAT master of self-promotion Steven Spielberg, there's a moment in yet another Spielberg dinosaur movie, the new animated feature "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story," that plugs "Jurassic Park."
At one point, a Manhattan movie theater marquee is shown, and guess what's playing?
- AND ONE MORE "Jurassic Park" note: People have been asking me when the film will finally come to video, a bit disappointed that it didn't make it for Christmas.
MCA/Universal Home Video has yet to announce a date, though insiders seem to think it will happen in early '94 - January, February or March.
But now comes word that Variety, the weekly show-biz trade paper, is planning a special "Jurassic Park" issue on Dec. 20, which will explore at the film's phenomenal impact on the industry, in terms of box office, merchandising and setting a new standard for movie special effects.
My guess is that a date for the film's video release will be announced in time to make that issue.
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Joan Cusack, currently playing the evil nanny in "Addams Family Values," speculating about why last year's "Toys," in which she co-starred with Robin Williams, was a box office failure:
" `Toys' was so fanciful. The script was amazing. The sets were great. It was fun to play with Robin. But (director/screenwriter) Barry (Levinson) was making a serious film in this fanciful setting. I think people wanted it to be fanciful and funny all the way through. People felt the seriousness undermined it a little, and they were disappointed. Barry's head and heart were in the right place. It just didn't come off."
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK II: Chris Columbus, director of "Mrs. Doubtfire," which stars Robin Williams.
"Everybody thinks of Robin as an incredibly maniacal crazy person who's impossible to rein in, but that's not really the case. Robin is a very classically trained stage actor, and we always had this little unwritten law: He would come in and do four or five scripted takes, so we always had a complete scripted version of the film. Yet, you'd be insane as a director not to utilize his improvisations, so then we would slowly improvise, and the improvisational lines would just add up and add up."