In the Baran house, Christmas lasts a month. But the rules are strict. Commercialism is forbidden, and patience is mandatory.
Frank and Sandy Baran want their two sons to understand Christmas' religious meaning and reject its commercial overtones. So the Palm Beach Gardens parents emphasize the spiritual with a monthlong observance of Advent, attendance at Mass and a limit of three Christmas presents per child.Sandy tries to build up holiday excitement gradually. First, an Advent wreath goes on the dining room table, and one candle is lit each night for a month before Christmas. The family reads a poem about the importance of nonviolent toys before Christmas shopping. Decoration of the tree begins the week before the holiday.
"There's constant tension between the prevailing culture and what we want to teach our kids," said Sandy, Palm Beach County coordinator for Pax Christi, a Catholic peace group. "We don't allow violent toys, and we don't talk a lot about Santa. The boys get sick of me, but they understand."
America's consumer-oriented Christmas season challenges many Christian parents to strike a balance between the spiritual and commercial aspect of the holiday. The post-Thanksgiving deluge of advertisements, songs, sales and promotions requires frequent parental explanations that Christmas offers not just gifts, but lessons in the meaning of life and sacrifice.
But according to a survey, these parents don't rank in the majority. Only 17 percent of parents questioned by Family Fun magazine said Christmas is an important spiritual time for them. Most (58 percent) said they view the holiday as a family time, the rest said they enjoy giving and receiving gifts.
Those parents determined to emphasize the birth of Jesus face the disappointment of their children but the support of their churches.
"A person should consider doing, instead of buying," said the Rev. Horace Ward of Maranatha Church in Palm Beach Gardens. "Send a Christmas card with a note, `This certificate represents a free car wash, at your convenience."'
Such personal attention shows that the gift-giver tried to be generous with his time, and not just his money, Ward said.
The pastor also encourages families to develop Christmas traditions. For the past 36 years, the Ward family has gathered around its tree after Christmas breakfast and read the second chapter of the biblical book of Luke, which describes the birth of Jesus. They pray and sing carols - then they open gifts.
Anthony Marchica also makes his family wait for their gifts - until after 7:30 a.m. Christmas Mass.
"It shows that God is more important than the gifts," said Marchica, a father of two and youth director at St. Ignatius Loyola Cathedral in Palm Beach Gardens. "We also make our Christmas gifts. We buy gifts, too, but we emphasize the ones we make."
Marchica also invites family and friends to the house throughout December. He takes each guest's photograph, and attaches each print to the Christmas tree.
"We fill the house with people important to our family," he said. "We concentrate on people instead of gifts."
Shannon Quattlebaum of West Palm Beach wants her four children to concentrate on Jesus. Each Christmas Eve, the family bakes a cake. On Christmas morning, they light candles on the cake and sing happy birthday to Jesus.
"It's a big deal in our family," she said. "It's a good way to show my little ones that it's Jesus' birthday in a way they understand.