Dear Abby: I missed the letter from "Old-Fashioned," who evidently did not approve of people living together before marriage, but I had to write to you when I read the reply from "Sharon" - whose fiance moved in with her prior to their marriage to help her with her breast cancer treatment and all the physical and emotional issues surrounding this disease.
My daughter, Tracy, was also diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 24. Four months before her wedding, she moved in with her fiance. Seven months after they were married, we lost her. She was 29. I thank God every day for the time she had to experience life as long as she could, including their living together, and especially for the great love my son-in-law, Mark, had for her. He could have walked away but didn't.I now work with the Colorado Chapter of the National Breast Cancer Coalition, whose goal is the prevention and cure of breast cancer. I do this because of Tracy, and for my other daughters, Terry and Tiana, and for you and me and all women.
I send my love to "Sharon" and am so thankful she is a survivor. I hope you can publish this letter. And, Abby, thank you for all your work. Please sign me . . .
- One Mother's Love
in Louisville, Colo.
Dear Mother: My sincere condolences on the loss of your daughter. Almost everyone we know has lost a loved one to this terrible disease. I hope in our lifetime a cure for cancer is found. Thank you for your poignant, sensible letter.
Dear Abby: My granddaughter is now 25 years old. Ever since she was born, I have given her $50 on every birthday.
She has now graduated from college and has a job.
My question: When do I stop giving her money? She has done nothing for me, her 88-year-old grandfather.
- J.J. in Terryville, Conn.
Dear J.J.: You may stop whenever you like. And since she has, in your words, "done nothing for you," right now isn't too soon.
Dear Abby: I want to thank you for printing the article from the person who recommended holding your pet while it is "put down" to make its last passing moments more bearable. I had handed over that task to my husband on two other occasions, but this time, with a cat I'd loved for 13 years, I changed my approach.
"Bailey" was my favorite of all the cats I've had. We shared a special relationship. I couldn't allow her to go through this without my loving touch and voice to soothe her.
My grief is stronger with this pet's passing than any pet I've ever had. But knowing that there was no struggle, that she felt no pain, and remembering how she purred to the very end assures me that I did what was kindest for her. After the love and affection she gave me during her lifetime, it was the very least I could give back to her. Thanks for listening.
- Amy Stitt,
Peachtree City, Ga.
Dear Amy: Because you are obviously a cat lover, you will positively adore the new book "Cat Love Letters," collected correspondence of "cats in love" by Leigh W. Rutledge, published by Dutton and available in bookstores now.
Anyone who has ever loved a cat will treasure this heartwarming volume. It's $14.95 in the United States and $20.99 in Canada . . . and worth every penny of it. Trust me.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)