There are two immediate, incompatible ways to react to the news that CBS has swiped the long-running sitcom "Family Matters" away from ABC.
First, CBS made what could turn out to be a pretty darn good business deal.Second, the folks at CBS should be publicly flogged for keeping Steve Urkel - the single most annoying character on television - alive for another season.
Actually, chances are that if CBS hadn't laid out some big bucks, "Family Matters" and Urkel (Jaleel White) would have returned to ABC next season. As a matter of fact, unofficial reports indicate that ABC executives are "stunned" and "angry" over the loss of the show.
And - leaving any thought as to the quality of this moronic show out of the equation - the theft shows promise of adding up to a win for CBS. "Family Matters" still wins its time period among households, total viewers and the all-important 18-to-49 demographic.
As a matter of fact, the audience for "Family Matters" is way, way younger than your average CBS viewer. And the network is trying to appeal to they younger viewers that advertisers pay more to attract.
Yes, the show's ratings are down about 20 percent from what they were two years ago. But those numbers still look good to CBS, which has struggled in the ratings on Fridays for years.
No, there's no official word where CBS will schedule "Family Matters," but it's generally expected that it will remain on Fridays at 7 p.m. As a matter of fact, the folks at the Big Eye would be fools to move it elsewhere.
And CBS's gain is indeed ABC's loss. The alphabet network is now forced to find something to lead off its Friday schedule next fall.
Finding a lead-off show is never an easy task. And ABC is going to have to find at least two of them, what with "Roseanne" retiring at the end of the season.
ABC executives, not surprisingly, are bad-mouthing the deal. They're contending that CBS paid too much for "Family Matters" - reportedly nearly $40 million for 22 episodes. (Which is about 20 percent more than ABC paid this season.)
In addition, CBS has committed to additional series from the show's producers, Miller-Boyett-Warren Productions (who have brought us shows like "Step by Step," "Perfect Strangers" and "Full House").
For people who care about quality, intelligent programming, this is not good news.
But for CBS as a business, it could turn out to be great news.
MORE MONKEE MANIA: The Monkees are back - again.
The Pre-Fab Four star in "Hey, Hey, It's the Monkees," a one-hour special scheduled for Monday, Feb. 17 at 7 p.m. on ABC.
This is no retrospective, however. It's an all-new episode of their 1965-67 TV series and features all the original Monkees - Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith and Peter Tork.
According to ABC, the guys are "still residing in their Monkee pad and waiting for their big break. Micky has just invented a confetti-spewing liquid that is sure to make a splash with the crowd; Mike has converted the Monkeemobile into a dimension-shifting lowrider; Davy is still wooing the girls with those dreamy stars in his eyes; and Peter continues to bewilder those around him with eclectic euphemisms."
The guys have a big gig at a country club - and both their futures and the future of the club are in their hands.
The Monkees will perform a medly of their olds hits as well as several new songs.
QUOTABLE: "Politically Incorrect" host Bill Maher: "We are waiting . . . for a verdict in the O.J. Simpson case, the second trial of course. And, the jury has the chance to send the world a message, which is - if you kill someone in L.A., you are looking at a very stiff fine."