Sixty years ago this month, a young Gordon B. Hinckley - two years off his mission in England - and his new bride, Marjorie Pay Hinckley, climbed into their 1935 Plymouth and headed south for their honeymoon.
They had just been married in the Salt Lake Temple by Elder Stephen L Richards of the Quorum of the Twelve, who was chairman of the Radio, Publicity and Mission Literature Committee of the Church, of which the young returned missionary was secretary.The trip to Zion National Park in southern Utah was the beginning of their life together, a life that President and Sister Hinckley said has been "a wonderful time."
"You speak of eternity," said Sister Hinckley, "and it is going to be wonderful, but this is eternity; we are in it every day and it is wonderful."
They were married April 29, 1937. Having lived in the same ward, they had known each other prior to his mission and had dated a little. Their first date was to a Gold and Green Ball. "I remember it," said Sister Hinckley, "because Mother had a brand new dress that Daddy had given her for Christmas and she let me wear it. It was black with satin-backed crepe. It was wonderful."
Sister Hinckley remembered that after one of the first dates, her mother asked how was the evening. "And I said, `It was great. This is a young man who is going places.' I didn't know I was going to go with him, but I knew he was outstanding."
When President Hinckley was asked what attracted him to Sister Hinckley, he replied: "Well, in the first place, she was pretty. In the second place, she was smart. In the third place, she was easy to get along with, just pleasant and easy to get along with and delightful. You go around with a lot of people and gradually you sort of look in one direction and before long you are there. It is a natural process of selection of a companion."
Now, 60 years after their wedding day, President and Sister Hinckley paused in his office in the Church Administration Building during a recent Church News interview and reflected on the years they have shared together.
"We have had a good life," said President Hinckley. "We have had our share of problems. We have walked the path that most people walk. We did not have much when we were getting married . . . but we made a go of things."
President Hinckley said at the time he was earning only $185 a month. "Those were very lean times; very lean times," he repeated, emphasizing the point.
"I remember him calling me one day before we were married," reflected Sister Hinckley, "and saying, `We have got to call this off. I've only got $150 to my name.' And I said, `I get a husband plus $150. We are in good shape!"
After they returned from their honeymoon, the Hinckleys moved into a small one-bedroom farm house that President Hinckley's father owned in East Millcreek, now a residential area of suburban Salt Lake County, but then was "out in the country." The house, because it was a summer home, didn't even have a furnace in it. But that didn't deter the couple from moving in. Young Gordon ordered a furnace and installed it himself. "And it worked," President Hinckley declared.
He has always been handy with tools. He primarily built their next home, a two-bedroom house on his father's East Millcreek property. He acted as the general contractor, and did the electrical wiring, the plumbing and much of the finish carpentry.
"I grew up with tools," President Hinckley said. "We had a lot of tools around our house. When I was 12 years of age, my father gave my brother and me some tools for Christmas. After all these years, I still have the old brace and bit that I had in those days. I have always respected tools. I have a very deep appreciation and respect for a good tradesman, a good electrician, a good bricklayer, a good carpenter, a good plumber. I have a great respect for those who use their hands to build things. They fill a very important place in our lives.
"I think that all comes of the fact that as a young man I had some tools and used them, and now I have a lot more and don't use them." he laughed.
"But he looks at them," Sister Hinckley added. "He has them all arranged on the wall."
When President Hinckley was going to the University of Utah, he worked summers at the Deseret Gym, "where I learned plumbing and wiring and general maintenance and things of that kind."
Sister Hinckley was asked if it was comforting through the years to know that her husband could fix anything. "Oh, absolutely," she replied, "and it was a shock to my daughters when they got married that their husbands could not do that."
Through the years, five children were born to President and Sister Hinckley. Their children and their spouses, who all live in the Salt Lake area, are Kathleen (Alan) Barnes, Richard G. (Jane) Hinckley, Virginia (James) Pearce, Clark B. (Kathleen) Hinckley and Jane (Roger) Dudley. The Hinckleys have 25 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren.
"The best endorsement we have of our life together is the lives of our children," said President Hinckley. "They are all faithful. They are all active. They are all very bright and able."
President and Sister Hinckley talked about some of the essentials for a happy marriage.
"Live the gospel," President Hinckley admonished. "That is so important. That means a lot of things. That means sacrifice in some circumstances. That means love and appreciation and respect. That means self-discipline. That means curbing your temper and your tongue and being careful of what you say because words can wound just as deeply and just as seriously as can anything that inflicts bodily harm.
"And you have to look on the bright side of things; you have to be optimistic and say, `We can make it!' "
Develop and maintain respect for one another, he counseled. "You have to give and take in marriage. Another thing is a soft answer, keeping your voice down. Don't lose your temper. Speak quietly. There will be differences," President Hinckley continued, "but don't get stirred up over them. Just be quiet and calm and speak softly one to another."
Sister Hinckley added: "You cannot be selfish in marriage. You have to have as your first priority the happiness and comfort of your spouse. If you work on that, then you are happy, too."
"Selfishness," said President Hinckley, "brings about conflict and all of these difficulties that afflict so very, very many marriages. Being plain, downright selfish is the problem."
Continuing, he said, "[Marriage] requires a very substantial measure of self-discipline. Marriage is not all romance. Marriage is work. Marriage is effort. You have to accommodate one another. You have to look after one another. Another thing is to do everything you can to develop the talents, the resources, the opportunities of your companion."
"Some people," said Sister Hinckley, "try to remake their spouse."
"Recognize your differences," said President Hinckley. "You will find that is a very wholesome and stimulating thing."
President Hinckley also counseled husbands and wives to get out of debt. "Debt is a terrible thing. Anybody who lived through the Depression knows that debt is an enslaving thing. Stay out of debt and pay your bills promptly.
"There is another thing; we have always talked together. There has been no lack of communication between us. I hear so many, many cases of unhappy marriages, of people who say `we can't communicate with one another.'
"There has been no lack of communication between us," President Hinckley said.
"We have had a very happy marriage," he continued. "When I look back, I have no regrets. Through the years we have been blessed beyond any measure that we ever dreamed of. We have been so richly blessed. We have never lacked, I can honesty say. We have paid our tithing. That came first. We have lived modestly but comfortably and reasonably well. We have plowed our little furrow and enlarged it and gone forward with our lives."
"There is nothing really extraordinary about our lives," he maintained.
As the interview was ending, President Hinckley turned to his wife and said: "What she did as a parent she is doing as a grandmother and a great-grandmother. Now we, after 60 years of marriage, are smaller; we don't stand as tall, we have shrunken a little."
"We move slower," added Sister Hinckley.
"We move slower," said President Hinckley, "but we are happy and love one another."
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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Some essentials for a happy marriage
- Live the gospel.
- Love, appreciate each other.
- Develop self-discipline.
- Curb temper and tongue.
- Look on the bright side of things.
- Develop, maintain respect for one another.
- Give soft answer.
- Speak quietly.
- Don't be selfish.
- Look after one another.
- Develop talents, opportunities of companion.
- Recognize differences.
- Pay tithing, stay out of debt.
- Develop ability to communicate with each other.
- From interview with President and Sister Hinckley