For Michelle Steinberg, the hardest part was lying in bed while her week-old daughter, Rachel, cried for 90 minutes straight.
It's for her own good, Steinberg said to herself. Hurts me more than it hurts her.Rachel must learn to live by the clock, she said. Eat on a schedule, sleep on a schedule. That's what they stress at church.
A schedule leads to a Christian baby, according to a child-rearing course that Michelle and Ben Steinberg took through First Presbyterian Church in Margate, Fla. Newborns must learn that the world does not revolve around them. Parents are in control. Babies will eat every three hours or so, not whenever they please.
Steinberg knew the course's method bucks the vast majority of experts, who recommend feeding babies whenever they demand food. But she was convinced and determined.
Eventually, Rachel, now 21 months, conformed to the schedule. Her siblings, Hannah, 3, and Adam, two months, fell in line easily. All three came out healthy, Mom says.
"You have a contented baby. She didn't need to cry and tell Mommy she needed to be fed. She knew it would happen," Steinberg says. "Our babies are not going to starve if they don't eat in three hours. The schedule is a good thing. We have scheduled lives, we're scheduled people."
Doctors disapprove
Such talk scares pediatricians and feeding experts.
They say the "Preparation for Parenting" course, taught internationally at conservative Christian churches of many denominations, encourages parents to be rigid about feeding instead of flexible to the baby's needs. They fear that newborns fed on schedules may not get enough nutrition and can occasionally become dehydrated, fail to gain enough weight and fail to develop properly.
"This program shows little regard for the baby's needs," says Dr. John Wright, a Fort Lauderdale pediatrician. "I don't think the baby's brain is ready for clocks. In their zeal to be good parents, people can be overcontrolling."
Of 15 Florida doctors and child-nutrition experts contacted for this report, all had heard of the program and all disapproved.
Among them, the 15 could cite only a handful of babies fed according to the program who developed nutritional short-falls. But all say they expect to see more as the program grows in popularity.
"There is no scientific basis whatsoever in their philosophy," says Dr. Arnold Tanis, a Hollywood, Fla., pediatrician. "It is contrary to what nature intended. It can be very dangerous."
Just as a three-meals-a-day diet is not right for every adult, no schedule is right for every baby, says Dr. Michael Sonenblum, pediatrics chairman at West Boca Medical Center. Some may need to eat every 90 minutes. Babies go through growth spurts, and their nutritional needs may change daily, he says.
No passing fad
The program, developed by nondenominational ministers Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo of suburban Los Angeles, is no passing fad.
It is being taught in 95 counties across the country at thousands of conservative Christian churches, the authors say.
Nicknamed "Prep," the video program lays out a step-by-step formula that guides parents through the first five months of babyhood, from feeding to diapering to sleeping.
Prep is one in a series of Ezzo child-rearing classes that cover birth through teens. About 600,000 parents have taken at least one program since they began in 1989, says the Ezzos' nondenominational group, Growing Families International.
The Ezzos also have sold 120,000 copies of "On Becoming Babywise," a book they co-wrote with a pediatrician that covers the same ground as Prep in a nonreligious way.
Typically, churches buy the Ezzos' $150 Prep video and teach it in a family's home over eight weeks. Parent workbooks cost $13. An audiotape version runs $35.
`Biblical' child-rearing
The Ezzos portray Prep's methods as a biblical way to raise children. What does that mean? No passage in the Bible says how often a baby should be fed. The course says it is based upon attitudes preached in the Bible, including discipline.
The Ezzos were not available to comment, citing travel and a busy schedule; they referred questions to "Babywise" co-author Dr. Robert Bucknam of the Denver area.
The program is not heartless, just practical, Bucknam says. The main tenet, "parent-controlled feeding," quickly instills a sense of order in newborn minds. Babies sleep through the night within eight weeks.
Babies fed on demand, by contrast, quickly grow used to immediate gratification, Bucknam says: "As they get older, every whine is an opportunity to feed. They become more demanding. They become brats."
In its early versions, Prep was stricter, urging a four-hour schedule. But that prompted a major outcry from the medical and breast-feeding community.
One Los Angeles lactation consultant - a nurse trained in breast-feeding and nutrition - counted more than 100 Prep babies who needed a doctor's care for malnutrition. Parents told doctors they let babies scream for long periods in order to follow the schedule.
The Ezzos contended that the criticism was an anti-religion attack. However, later versions of Prep were softened. Now the videos suggest feeding babies every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, and monitoring their weight and cries. Take the baby to the doctor if something seems wrong, the Ezzos say now.
"It should go without saying that ignoring a hungry baby's cry is unacceptable," Prep says. "Under normal circumstances, any crying that occurs just before a feeding should be limited, since the next event is mealtime.
"If your baby is hungry, feed him."
The program produces kids who are submissive, respectful of elders and with a spark of fun, says David Good of Sarasota, Fla., the Ezzos' paid regional director.
The problem is not the method, Bucknam says, it's parents who take it too literally.
"Ninety-five to 98 percent understand what we mean and a small group don't," he says. "The principles in `Babywise' are good, but some people misunderstand what the book says."
Investigation under way
The Palm Beach County Breast-feeding Task Force has heard enough concerns to start investigating the issue, group secretary Becket Miller says.
The state-funded Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies of Palm Beach recommends feeding newborns every 90 minutes if they can handle it.
"Babies will eventually set their own two or three-hour schedule, but they don't do it easily or right away," says Miller, a lactation consultant. "If you hear about a so-called good baby, get nervous."
The guidebook of the American Academy of Pediatrics, writ-ten by 70 leading doctors, says: "Your baby lets you know when he's hungry. Whenever possible, use (the baby's signals) rather than the clock to decide when to nurse him.
"Your baby's feeding needs are unique. No book can tell you precisely how much or how often he needs to be fed, or exactly how you should handle him during feedings."