There are three things you need to know about the new Fox sitcom "Ask Harriet," which premieres Sunday at 7:30 p.m. on Ch. 13.
First - its premise is ludicrous.Second - it's loaded with offensive sex jokes.
Third - it isn't funny.
Other than that, it's just fine.
Anthony Tyler Quinn ("Boy Meets World") stars as Jack Cody, a sexist pig of a newspaper columnist who believes that the 11th commandment for women should be, "Thou shalt look good from behind."
And Jack questions the necessity of women's professional basketball: "Do we really need this? . . . Come on, you're not really interested in basketball. When was the last time any one of you rooted for a guy to get his shot off in under 24 seconds?"
Turns out, however, that Jack's new boss, Melissa (Lisa Waltz) is an old lover - and she's not his biggest fan. Melissa describes Jack as "arrogant, boorish, cocky, deluded, egomaniacal, fatuous, grating, hedonicist, indiscriminate, juvenile" . . . and that's less than half the alphabet.
Melissa fires him - the 13th time he's been dumped for being such a jerk. (And because he wrote a libelous column that prompted a $21 million lawsuit.)
Fortuitously for Jack, the newspaper's advice columnist (who writes under the byline "Ask Harriet") picks this day to die. And Jack comes up with a "brilliant" idea - he'll apply for the job, faxing his work in from home.
This being a TV sitcom, his plan works - up to a point. But Melissa demands a face-to-face meeting, so Jack dons a dress, high heels, a wig and about 20 pounds of makeup and becomes Sylvia Coco.
It's hardly an original idea, and it's been done better before on both the small screen ("Bosom Buddies") and the big ("Tootsie").
Jack, the macho pig, manages to pull it off. (Remember, we're talking sitcom here.) But he isn't exactly happy about it.
"This is not what I mean when I say I want to get into a woman's pants," he says.
The only real surprise in "Ask Harriet" is that Ed Asner would be foolish enough to join the cast. He comes aboard in the second episode, playing the cartoonish media mogul who owns the newspaper.
(Asner appears when "Ask Harriet" moves to its regular time slot on Thursday at 7:30 p.m.)
Watching the man who used to be Lou Grant making a fool of himself by putting the moves on a woman who is really a man is just distasteful.
"Oh, Sylvia, I want you in the worst possible way," Maxwell says.
"That's just how it would be, Mr. Russell," Sylvia/Jack replies.
Ick. Double ick.