Nothing is as certain as change, the saying goes. But in Hollywood, nothing is as certain as sameness. Not that this is a news flash, but if something is successful, movies (and TV shows) clone it endlessly.
For example, a rule has apparently been invoked that kids' movies must show someone getting hit in the groin. Apparently it still gets laughs in test screenings.Chaplin, Keaton and Lloyd would be spinning in their respective graves if they knew slapstick had dropped this low.
Just how prevalent the kick-in-the-groin gag is became obvious when my wife, Joyce, and I went to see "My Favorite Martian" a few weeks ago. (Don't ask why we went; a root canal would have been more entertaining.)
Before "My Favorite Martian" began, we sat through the obligatory trailers. The first was for "Baby Geniuses," with an embarrassingly hammy Kathleen Turner chasing toddlers around some kind of science lab. As a highlight, the trailer shows someone getting hit in the groin.
Then, up came a trailer for Disney's "Inspector Gadget," and . . . you guessed it . . . someone gets hit in the groin.
I leaned over to Joyce and said something about how odd it was to see this bit of "comedy" in two back-to-back movie previews. "Yeah," she said. "And it'll probably show up in 'My Favorite Martian,' too."
Sure enough, about 10 minutes into "My Favorite Martian," Jeff Daniels' character gets hit in the groin.
Joyce and I just looked at each other and moaned.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If that's true, Hollywood must love flattering itself because repeating the same old gags is nothing compared to how many entire movie plots are purloined.
Just browsing through the movie ads reveals an amazing number of pictures that are ripoffs, unofficial remakes or some variation of the same old thing (not even counting such "official" remakes as "The Out-of-Towners" and "The King and I"):
"Never Been Kissed": Adult journalist Drew Barrymore goes back to high school -- as did adult stockbroker Jon Cryer in "Hiding Out" (1987).
"The Matrix": "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) meets "Dark City" (1998), with dozens of other movie references.
"Cruel Intentions": "Beverly Hills 90210" filtered through "Dangerous Liaisons" (1988)/"Valmont" (1989) -- or maybe that other contemporary version, "Dangerous Liaisons 1960."
"10 Things I Hate About You"/"She's All That": More echoes of "Beverly Hills 90210" in teen versions of "The Taming of the Shrew" (1929/1967) and "Pygmalion" (1938)/"My Fair Lady" (1964).
"Analyze This": A mobster in a midlife crisis sees a psychiatrist, fearful it will be perceived as a sign of weakness. See the 1997 Showtime movie, "The Don's Analyst," or the current HBO series, "The Sopranos.".
"EDtv": An ensemble version of "The Truman Show" (1998).
"Ravenous": Other cannibal comedies that didn't work: "Cannibal! The Musical" (1995), "Parents" (1989), "Eating Raoul" (1982) or "Motel Hell" (1980).
"Blast From the Past": Brendan Fraser imitates himself as a fish out of water; think "Encino Man" (1992) or "George of the Jungle" (1997).
"Office Space": Workplace farce that owes a debt to "The Drew Carey Show," which is itself just a live-action "Dilbert."
"The Other Sister": Made-for-TV movies about mentally challenged couples trying to live normal lives abound: Richard Thomas and Julie Kavner in "No Other Love" (1979), Kelly McGillis and Treat Williams in "Bonds of Love" (1993) -- and how about the Larry Drake-Amanda Plummer subplot on "L.A. Law" (1986-94)?
"The Mod Squad"/"Doug's 1st Movie"/"My Favorite Martian"/"The Rugrats Movie": Good grief, what's next -- a big-screen version of "The Beverly Hillbillies"? Oh, yeah. They already did that!
"The Rage: Carrie 2": Is this a sequel to "Carrie" (1976) or a remake?
"Payback": It was better as "Point Blank" (1967), and Lee Marvin was better suited than Mel Gibson to the role of a ruthless gangster.
"A Bug's Life": Much funnier than "Antz," but both owe something to earlier ANTecedents -- ranging from Disney's "Silly Symphony" short "The Grasshopper and the Ants" (1934) to Dave Fleischer's animated feature "Hoppity Goes to Town" (1941).
As Yogi Berra might say, going to the movies seems like deja vu all over again.
Chris Hicks may be reached by e-mail at hicks@desnews.com