Members, in regard to this subject, should keep the following points in mind:
Realize Church disciplinary action is a restriction on a person's membership as an act of love to assist the individual in the repentance process. Excommunication or disfellowshipment is a temporary state of being, not a destination. All the good things that an individual has done throughout his/her life are not erased by the transgression.
Do not ask about the transgression. It has passed and should remain in the past.
Do not assume you know the reason for the disciplinary action. Refrain from giving advice.
Do not avoid the individual. Look them in the eyes and treat them like any other member.
Give warm, sincere handshakes and hugs. They are always appreciated. Cards, letters and other means of showing support and encouragement are appropriate. Continue to refer to and think of them as "Brother So-an-so," and "Sister So-an-so."
Let them know that you admire their courage and that you have faith in them. What is needed the most is love, respect, friendship and understanding -- and at times a shoulder to cry on.
Find opportunities to visit with them outside of Church meetings. Involve them in all activities that do not require an official calling or a recommend, such as service projects, committee work, helping with ward events, etc. It is still important to feel needed.
Continue as Church members to provide friendship and support. The continued fellowship of priesthood quorums and the Relief Society is essential.
-- Name and location withheld