Upon seeing me clamber down from the cab of a midnight black Dodge Ram pickup truck at a recent outing at Wingpointe Golf Course (where fairways compete with runways), Deseret News resident sage and long hitter Jerry Johnston looked over the big rig and offered this solemn assessment:
"You know, Max, if you brought that vehicle up to Brigham City, you'd never again have to worry about getting a date for Saturday night."This comment imbued me with an almost overwhelming urge to jump back in the Dodge and head north to Box Elder County; mustn't keep the ladies waiting.
But then I remembered that I'd only have the Ram for a week and since I'm married, I didn't really need a date for Saturday night. Anyway, I realized the whole macho illusion would shatter once they saw that the driver didn't fit the image of the truck. (Arnold? Clint? Bruce?)
But Johnston's observation reminded me of my much younger days when the first priority in one's motor vehicle buying decision was this: "Will it make girls desire me above all others?"
It also made me think about how perceptions of what constitutes a cool car change over time. When I was attending South High School in the 1950s, pickup trucks rated pretty close to dead last in the "hot wheels" rankings.
Back then, only customs, hot rods or sports cars qualified as "girl getters." Sure, most of us had to make do with Dad's DeSoto on Saturday night dates, but even that was better than a pickup truck, which was considered to have about as much sex appeal as a plumber's friend.
But times change, and I have no reason to doubt Johnston's view that women now find trucks irresistible, even though he too is married, is on the north side of 40 and drives a small sedan. Jerry's a newspaper columnist and has to keep up with these trends.
Sadly, the only looks I received from women during my time with the Ram were angry glares when I required more than my share of a parking space at the mall and annoying smirks from two women in a BMW convertible that seemed to imply that I needed a big macho truck to compensate for other failings.
The Dodge Ram in question is a particularly testosterone-laden version of the breed. My tester was the 3500 4X4 Quad Cab SLT model with dual rear wheels, flared fenders and the longest bed this side of Karl Malone's mattress.
Pickups don't get much bigger than this without crossing over into some other truck realm, maybe Peterbilt or Kenworth.
But while those rigs pretty much confine themselves to freeways and truck stops, the Ram "Doolie" (a nickname for pickups with dual rear wheels) is intended as a family or personal car as well as a working truck.
That means it needs to fit innormal garages and parking spaces and toddle through heavy traffic, none of which it does very well (or at all in some cases) because it is ever so large. (The photo accompanying this column is of the more discreet 2500 Quad Cab Sport, which is a similar vehicle from the rear window forward but does not have the dual wheels, the ultra-long bed or the flared fenders that add so much to the 3500 SLT's size and heft. No photo of the Doolie was available.)
The 3500 is also oversize under the hood. The three engine choices are a 5.9 liter V8, an 8.0 liter V10 and a Cummins 5.9 liter inline 6-cylinder diesel. My tester had the latter motor, and I think it is a good choice for a big truck like the Doolie, especially if you intend to do a lot of towing. Its roar and clatter fits the Ram's overall image, and it provides plenty of power, particularly at the low end.
Also, it provides better fuel mileage than either of the gasoline engines, although "fuel economy" is not a phrase that comes up often when discussing big American pickups, which is good because I didn't do a mileage check on it and the window sticker had no mileage information. I do know that the fuel tank holds 35 gallons, and you'll need all of them and more.
Along with the Doolie's heavy-duty load carrying and trailering capacity (you can haul up to a 13,500-pound boat or trailer depending on the equipment you select; truly awesome towing ability) it also offers Dodge's new (as of last year) Quad Cab extended cab. This simply means you can access the rear bench seat from both sides of the vehicle rather than just one, as has been the case with extended-cab pickups in the past.
This is not to be confused with "crew cab" pickups in which there are four, full-size doors. The Ram's two rear doors can only be accessed after the two front doors are opened, and the rear seating area, though more roomy than those "jump seat" accommodations in many pickups, falls short of providing "crew cab" leg, shoulder and head room.
Even so, the Quad Cab configuration gives the Ram a six-passenger rating, and when inside storage is desired over passenger capacity for storing stuff you don't want to leave in the open bed, the rear bench can be flipped up out of the way.
The center console between the two front seats is huge and is set up to provide a sort of on-board desk or office with cubby holes for all sorts of items useful to a contractor or real estate agent who spends more time on the road than in the office.
Ride quality? Well, the Ram is sprung to accommodate a heavy load, maybe a bed full of sand and gravel, and to allow for that, it's pretty stiff and jouncy when asked to carry nothing but air (which is most of the time.)
The Ram 3500 is base priced at $27,320. My tester came with an options package that included AC, power windows and locks, cruise control, tilt steering, a tach and carpet/floor mats for $2,500. The Cummins diesel, anti-spin differential and four-speed automatic transmission added another $5,000-plus, for a bottom line of $35,730.
As is usual with pickups, the Ram can be ordered in a smorgasbord of two- and four-wheel drive, manual or automatic shifters, short, medium and long cargo beds, various and sundry engine and drivetrain configurations and an assortment of cab setups as well as the usual potpourri of luxury and convenience goodies, all of which can easily boost the base price by $10,000 or more.
E-mail (max@desnews.com) or fax 801-236-7605. Max Knudson's car column runs each Friday.