THE BIG KAHUNA — ** — Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, Peter Facinelli; rated R (profanity, vulgarity, brief violence); exclusively at the Century Theatres 16.
If talk really is cheap, then "The Big Kahuna" must be one of the most inexpensive films ever made.
That's not to say that there's anything wrong with making dialogue-heavy films. However, this watchable but inconsequential drama is a little too talky for its own good. And all too often it says nothing new and nothing of real importance.
Also, some of its characterizations — or in this case, they could be called caricatures — and content could be accused of attacking organized religion.
What's most disappointing is that the film has far nobler aspirations than that. Conceptually, "The Big Kahuna" tries to use the corporate sales industry as a metaphor for the human condition — something that has already been done (and done much better) in David Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross."
But if it weren't for a great cast, which includes recent Oscar-winner Kevin Spacey, this film might have proven to be a ponderous bore.
What action there is revolves around Larry (Spacey) and Phil (Danny DeVito), sales representatives for Lodestar Laboratories, a Midwestern lubricant manufacturer. They're in Wichita trying to land a giant account that may help save their struggling company.
Things are off to a rocky start, though. To Larry's consternation, Phil has arranged for a tiny hospitality suite to host their all-important sales pitch. The two veterans have also been saddled with Bob (Peter Facinelli), an inexperienced newcomer who also happens to be a devout Christian.
He and the brutally blunt Larry mix like oil and water, especially when Bob and his views begin to interfere with their presentation. So it's up to Phil to be the peacemaker, though he's a burned-out case who doesn't really care about the whole thing.
Frankly, it may be hard for audiences to care, either. The movie was made by two first-timers, director John Swanbeck (a stage veteran) and screenwriter Roger Rueff (who's adapting his stage play "Hospitality Suite"), and it shows.
It's hard enough to "open up" something written for the stage, especially when the entire story takes place in a hotel room. But under Swanbeck's direction, this feels so static and so claustrophobic that it becomes almost overwhelming. And after an hour and a half of talking, you're ready for these guys to just shut the heck up.
The film's saving grace, if there really is one, would be the performances.
Spacey and Facinelli make their sometimes-heated exchanges interesting, even though what's being said isn't anything new. But to be honest, the one really great performance here is the one given by the misused-of-late DeVito, who provides the film with what little real soul it has.
"The Big Kahuna" is rated R for frequent use of strong profanity and crude slang, some off-color discussions and a brief scuffle. Running time: 90 minutes.
You can reach Jeff Vice by e-mail at jeff@desnews.com