Mention celibacy in a society that is, as John Murphy argues, oversexed, and there is often incomprehension, derision, even blame.
People don't understand celibacy and often dismiss it as "weird," says Murphy, a Catholic who studied theology at Notre Dame and serves as a lay lector at St. Thomas More in Sandy. Like other Catholics, Murphy has been revisiting the notion of celibacy recently as the Catholic Church struggles with allegations of sexual abuse by priests.
Celibacy, a tradition long practiced by Catholic priests and nuns as well as by monks and ascetics of other faiths, has surfaced as a point of contention in the public debate over priestly misconduct. Is celibacy somehow to blame for incidents of pedophilia? Is it an outdated, unhealthy, impossible restriction? Is it driving away men and women who would otherwise choose to become priests and nuns?
Historically, Catholic priests have not always been required to be celibate. Priests, bishops and even popes were free to marry in the early church; celibacy wasn't mandated until the papacy of Gregory VII in 1079. The reason for the rule, say some historians (with a touch of cynicism), is that the married clergy sometimes passed their land holdings — sometimes even their clerical positions — on to their children.
But celibacy has its roots in the teachings of Jesus, notes the Most Rev. George Niederauer, bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Salt Lake City. He quotes Matthew 19, verse 12: ". . . and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."
It's not, as some might suppose, that the church sees the body as bad. "We give up something that is good," he says. "We don't give up toothaches." And yet celibacy is more than just about sacrifice, he says. "In the best of circumstances, anyone who answers a call from God is trying to live that for him and for others." The priest is free, without the distractions of wife, family and desire, to focus his attentions on God.
Celibacy, then, is not just abstinence from something (people can be abstinent for all kinds of reasons) but a commitment to something; and not just temporarily or involuntarily but as a vow.
Christ himself, according to most Catholics, was celibate.
In a moving commentary in the New York Times earlier this spring, priest Lorenzo Albacete explores his own vow taken years ago. Celibacy, he says, "has more to do with poverty than with sex. It is the radical, outward expression of the poverty of the human heart, the poverty that makes true love possible by preventing it from corrupting into possession or manipulation."
At Mount Angel Seminary near Portland, where most young men from the Intermountain West study to become priests, seminarians explore the nature and challenges of celibacy, explains Father John Cihak.
Celibacy, he says, is above all about having a full relationship with Christ, a "singleheartedness." Celibacy, he says, "is above all about love. It's about a man who has fallen in love (with Christ)." As with any true love, it requires a dying of the self, he says. "That's always hard. But it's never impossible, because he gives us all the grace we need."
Celibacy serves as a symbol, a prefiguring, of the resurrection, where there is no marriage for anyone, he says. A celibate priest, then, is a powerful reminder to all Catholics of their own future, where relationships are with Jesus.
Does a priest — or a pastor or a bishop — serve God and his parishioners better if he has no spouse and no children? Although that's the assumption of the Catholic Church's stance on celibacy, others disagree.
"Speaking for myself, it's all a matter of relationships, divine and human," says Carolyn Tanner Irish, bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Utah. "From my point of view, I'm enriched by having a companion in life, a sexual partner and children. It's taught me a great deal about love. I don't know how I would have learned love and the kind of patience and forbearance it requires, all the faces of it" without those intimacies, she says.
The Episcopal Church is the American branch of the Anglican Church, which split from the Roman Catholic Church in the 16th century. "For the Anglicans, there was an affirmation of marriage for the clergy, a clear affirmation," says Irish.
"I don't think we can view one as better or worse than the other," she says of celibacy and marriage. "Either way has the potential of grace and holiness of life."
Niederauer agrees. One calling is not higher than another, he says, and "neither guarantees that if you live it any old way it will go well. One has to be generous all one's life."
In Buddhism there are two traditions, the monastic and the "householder" paths, explains Jerry Gardner, also known as Lama Thupten of Salt Lake's Urgyen Samten Ling. Monks and nuns are celibate. Lamas of the householder tradition can marry. On both paths one can come to an understanding that attachment can bring suffering, he says. "Celibacy doesn't mean you have a higher degree of realization."
The Greek Orthodox Church does not require celibacy of its priests, although "we believe some people have a genuine call to celibacy," explains Father John Kaloudis of Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. "It's kind of up to God."
"We always need to exercise discernment as to whether one has a genuine call to celibacy." The leaders of the church "have to test this call to celibacy, to make sure it's for the right reason."
The Eastern Orthodox Church, explains Father Basil Hartung of Saints Peter and Paul Orthodox Christian Church, gives priests the option of marrying. But the church does not allow a priest to remarry, nor does it allow a priest to change his marital status once he's a priest. Bishops are celibate.
Celibacy is practiced by some Hindus, as a form of self-control that can lead to greater spiritual awareness. Gandhi, a secular rather than a spiritual leader, practiced celibacy during part of his life. Muslims do not believe in celibacy for their spiritual teachers, says Maysa Kergaye, who founded the Islamic Speakers Bureau of Utah. "It's very highly discouraged" among its clerics, she says. The Prophet Mohammed was married, she explains, "and we believe that we should follow that tradition."
Celibacy is "not an ideal human condition," says D. Corydon Hammond, co-director of the University of Utah's Sex and Marital Therapy Clinic. "Humans need affection and human contact."
But there are degrees of intimacy. Celibacy prohibits sexual intimacy but not the intimacy of friendship, says Monsignor J. Terrance Fitzgerald, of the Salt Lake Diocese. Priests can and do have close friends, he says. Hugging is acceptable, "as long as it's proper."
As the merits of celibacy have been debated in recent months, some have argued that the practice attracts people who are sexually immature or who hope that their vow will help them suppress sexual urges. When this doesn't work, this argument goes, sexual desire manifests itself inappropriately.
But celibacy is not the cause of sexual abuse, others argue. Abuse, including pedophilia, is just as high among married men, argues Monsignor Fitzgerald, and yet marriage is not cited as a cause of pedophilia.
Some Catholics argue that the church should change its stance on celibacy. A poll by the Boston Globe/WBZ-TV last February found that 74 percent of Boston Catholics surveyed felt that priests should be allowed to marry (the number dropped to 61 percent among Catholics who attend church on a weekly basis).
Raymond Grosswirth, a Rochester, N.Y., Catholic who is spokesperson for CORPUS (an organization of Catholics dedicated to "an inclusive priesthood") argues that there is no evidence in the Bible that Christ was celibate; and that when the Vatican quotes from Paul in support of celibacy, "Paul was simply instructing the faithful not to concern themselves with concerns of this world" as the Second Coming approached.
"The Vatican would like for us to believe that only celibate priests have the time that is necessary to service the needs of the faithful," says Grosswirth, who is married and would like to be ordained a priest. "My response is that celibate priests are being stretched to the limit. By inviting women and married men to the ranks of the priesthood, there would be a sufficient number of ordained persons to assume sacramental responsibilities, whereby there would be safeguards against burnout scenarios."
A 2001 study of newly ordained priests estimated that in the 1990s, 10 percent to 15 percent of new priests resigned within five years; and that of 72 departing priests surveyed, nearly half cited loneliness and celibacy as problems.
Most observers don't expect the Vatican will change the celibacy requirement anytime soon.
E-MAIL: jarvik@desnews.com