Jeepers, creepers. Why'd they make these features?
It's tough enough to figure why the nonsensical, unimaginative 2001 horror film "Jeepers Creepers" had to be made, let alone its unasked-for sequel.
The rail-thin story of "Jeepers Creepers 2": a winged, sharp-toothed, invulnerable monster who gets to feed on human flesh for 23 days every 23 years terrorizes a farm, then moves on to stalk a bus carrying a high-school basketball team.
The monster can't be killed — the same can't be said of the drama — so we're stuck watching as the Creeper (Jonathan Breck) goes about his routine. He taunts the kids through the window, flies away, comes back to punch a hole in the top of the bus, and systematically picks off the kids who are dumb enough to walk below the hole.
Among questions that pop up throughout: If the Creeper can only come out every 23 years, and he was last out in 2001, shouldn't this movie be set in 2024? Why don't any of these kids call for help on cell phones? If the Creeper is strong enough to punch one hole in the bus, why doesn't he punch another? But the biggest enigma is: Why is this movie in theaters?
It could very well be that the filmmakers were going for a transcendental metaphor: that the bus signifies reality, and the Creeper stands for sense experiences, unable to crack through and influence the staunch individuals who deny him by refusing to sit below the hole. And those who indulge in the counterproductive experience of walking below the hole receive their just punishment: the death of soul. And that the corny dialogue and actions of the students — "Let's split up!" — are a mockery of today's media-saturated youths.
We're getting too deep, though. Maybe the world just needed another horror film in which 20- to 30-year-old actors run for their lives from a monster wearing too much makeup.
Of course, there's always the possibility that the movie was made as a prank: to see if a film with no scary moments could still be classified as "horror."
Or perhaps writer/director Victor Salva lost a bet. "Hey, Vic," we can imagine a producer saying, "betcha can't bilk another $37 million out of the public with one more gaudy, low-budget derivative farce!"
And here we get to the real reason "JC2" was made: dollar signs. The first "Jeepers Creepers," with its $37 million domestic box-office take, wasn't a major hit, but since its budget was only a bargain-basement $10 million, it was quite the moneymaker. Since the sequel only cost $25 million, there's a good chance we'll see "Jeepers Creepers 3: Still Creepin' " in 2005.
Now that's horror.
"Jeepers Creepers 2" is rated R for graphic horror violence and gore (gruesome creature attacks, gunplay and explosive mayhem), as well as occasional use of strong sexual profanity. Running time: 101 minutes.