Believe it or not, "Torque" actually manages to outdumb such similarly brain-dead films as "The Fast and the Furious" (and its sequel) and "Biker Boyz." Which is really saying something.
This action-on-two-wheels thriller is so dumb you'd almost swear you can see it bleeding IQ points. You'll certainly notice your own brain cells dribbling onto the floor.
The film's dialogue and performances are so howlingly bad, and the plotting is so nonsensical and ludicrous, that it's almost entertaining. Almost.
New Zealand actor Martin Henderson stars as Cary Ford, a biker who's come back to the United States after running from a possible drug-dealing rap. Cary is hoping to clear his name, with help from his buddies, Dalton (Jay Hernandez) and Val (Will Yun-Lee). And he's already managed to win over his estranged girlfriend, Shane (Monet Mazur).
However, other things are not going so well. Cary's former "business" partner (Matt
Schulze) is looking for revenge. He's also looking for his drugs. So he frames Ford for the killing of another biker, and now the dead man's brother, Trey (Ice Cube), is hot on Cary's trail. And so is McPherson (Adam Scott), a federal agent who still believes Ford is running drugs.
First-time filmmaker Joseph Kahn directs with all the subtlety of a music-video director (which isn't surprising, since that's where he cut his teeth). And the quick cutaways make the action scenes more headache-inducing than pulse-quickening.
Not that the cast is any help. If Henderson, Mazur and Schulze had been replaced by grimy cardboard standees, no one would have been the wiser.
The only actor who really registers here is Ice Cube, whose trademark performance is all sneer and tough talk. The fact that he manages to keep a straight face says something about his professionalism.
"Torque" is rated PG-13 for strong scenes of action violence (brawling, knife fighting, gunplay, vehicular violence and explosive mayhem), occasional use of strong profanity (including one usage of the so-called "R-rated" curse word), drug content (methamphetamine trade), use of crude slang terms (and innuendo) and racial epithets, and closeups of women in revealing swimwear. Running time: 81 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com