The sitcom is dead. The narrative TV drama is dead. Network television is dead.
If you believe any of these premature predictions, you are falling into the same trap that repeatedly ensnares network executives.
Trends are trends. And a trend, by definition, will at some point be yesterday's news. But that doesn't mean they'll go away completely.
Unless network television's herd mentality is a lemming mentality.
The sitcom isn't dead just because there are no really successful traditional stagebound, three-camera, live-audience sitcoms on TV right now.
The narrative drama isn't dead because reality shows are popular.
And network television isn't dead just because some cable shows that do things network TV can't do happen to capture the media zeitgeist.
In fact, yesterday's shows never die, thanks to reruns and DVD.
Which leads me to this: I recently received a couple of e-mails from readers asking why we don't include the RTN channel's listings in our TV grid each day.
Locally, RTN is KCBU-Ch. 3 in Price, and in Salt Lake City it's Ch. 58. (Those are over-the-airwaves channels, not cable or satellite.)
Actually, we've only recently become aware of the syndicated network; the station doesn't provide us with listings. And after checking the listings on RTN's Web site — www.retrotelevision.net — against what actually airs, it would seem that even RTN isn't sure about what it's running from week to week, or even from night to night.
But generally, here's the deal: RTN stands for Retro Television Network, and though there are a couple of "original" programs — the on-camera talk show "Unreliable Sources," the music-video show "Retro Jams" — the channel's line-up is primarily old TV series.
An over-the-airwaves TV Land.
Most weekdays, starting at 1 p.m., this is what you'll see: "Bonanza," "Gunsmoke," "Have Gun, Will Travel," "The Wild Wild West," "Perry Mason," "Mork & Mindy," "Happy Days," "The Lucy Show," "Hogan's Heroes," "Hawaii Five-0" and "Mission: Impossible."
But I've also seen "The Streets of San Francisco," "The Brady Bunch," "Family Ties," "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Gomer Pyle, USMC" show up.
And listed on the Web site: "Kojak," "Magnum, P.I.," "The Rockford Files," "My Three Sons," "Laverne & Shirley," "Quincy, M.D."
One late Friday night, there was a black-and-white rerun of "I Married Joan," easily the oldest of these programs.
What's really interesting about this is that if a "trend" is something that a number of stations are adopting, then programming these old favorites is definitely a trend.
Over on KBYU-Ch. 11, you can, at various times, see "Perry Mason," "I Love Lucy," "Little House on the Prairie," "My Three Sons" or "The Andy Griffith Show."
The former UPN affiliate, KPNZ-Ch. 24, has an island theme most evenings, with both "Magnum, P.I." and "Hawaii Five-0."
On KUPX-Ch. 16, you can find "Charlie's Angels," "Green Acres" and "Bonanza."
It's not unusual to see late-night reruns of '90s and '00s shows — "Seinfeld," "The King of Queens," "Everybody Loves Raymond," etc., have been staples for quite awhile. And "Sex and the City" and "South Park" — curiously paired with "Magnum, P.I." and "Hawaii Five-0" on Ch. 24 — are more recent additions.
But it is interesting to see so many shows from the 1950s, '60s, '70s and '80s on so many channels.
Maybe it's a way for the studios to drum up interest in forthcoming DVD sets. Quite a few of these shows have yet to find their way to home video.
E-mail: hicks@desnews.com