Seldom in life are we privileged to associate with true greatness. However, in spring 2000 I had that opportunity. The executive director of the Utah Tip Off Club, former BYU head basketball coach Tony Ingle, called me in early March and told me that Kay Yow, head coach of the North Carolina State women's basketball team, had just been named the John & Nellie Wooden Woman's Coach of the Year by the club.I had helped this basketball organization with newsletter production in the past, and Tony knew that I had an avid interest in girls basketball. He ask me if my wife and I would be interested in hosting Yow before the awards banquet in April. I told him we would be delighted. I knew Kay had coached the U.S. Olympic woman's team to a gold medal in 1988 and her teams at N.C. State always were ranked in the top 20 nationally. I was in contact with her staff, which wanted to know how Kay would know us when she got off the plane in Salt Lake City. I teased and said, "She doesn't need to know us, we know her and we will have our arms outstretched when she comes off the plane." When we finally did greet Yow her smile and warm personality immediately won us over.We were scheduled to have a late luncheon with the other coaches, and it was now around 10 a.m. My wife, Linda, and I had planned a few activities. When we ask Kay if she would be interested, she replied, "Anything that you think is important I want to see." As we drove into the city she marveled at the mountains, and we briefly drove her around the University of Utah campus. We then took her back down to Mormon Temple Square and parked at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I told her the LDS Church had a wonderful Imax theater, a new production called the "Testaments" was playing, and we had arranged tickets for her to see it. She seemed excited to go into the theater and was impressed with the decor of the building. She shared with us that she was an active member of her Baptist church, and as we sat quietly prior to the movie she revealed, "That the Lord has seen me through a lot of adversity in my life and any success I have had is because of my faith." After the movie the crowd arose and I could see Yow's head was bowed. For a minute I thought she was going to cry, but as we neared the exit she took my arm and softly whispered, "That was wonderful." Exiting the building, we saw a bride and groom being photographed in the flower-filled garden area adjacent to the Salt Lake Temple. Kay seemed a little surprised by this scene and stood and stared and then remarked, "I've never seen anything so beautiful as this." We briefly explained about temple marriage and that ceremonies were going on all day long. As we left the parking garage she said, "I'm so glad I got to see this, it has given me a feeling of happiness."We later had lunch with Ingle and coach Bill Self and his wife, Cindy. Self had just completed a great season for Tulsa University and had been named the John Wooden Men's Coach of the Year. During lunch Yow said she had called Wooden a few years earlier and ask if he would talk to her. He readily agreed, and she flew to Encino, Calif., to spend the day with him. She said Wooden seemed impressed that she knew all of the parts of his pyramid of success and her understanding of those principles allowed him to expand and explain more fully to her on why they worked.That evening we attended a reception for Wooden. I could tell that he was delighted to see her again, and they talked for several minutes. To everyone present at the reception Yow exuded a positive sense of well-being that was both confident and yet humble. She also impressed me as refreshingly candid. I ask her about her experience in coaching the woman's Olympic team. "Did you find it easy to coach such talented players?" Kay responded: "Oh heavens, no. We had many attitude problems that needed to be worked out. All of the girls are good and they all wanted to play every minute. I always found it a challenge to keep them happy." The next day the awards banquet was held at the Little America Hotel in Salt Lake City. We took our youngest daughter, Lindsey, who was at that time an eighth-grader. We had told her about Yow and she was excited to meet her.Kay sat down with Lindsey for a few minutes before the banquet was to begin. Later I ask Lindsey what Yow had told her about becoming a better basketball player. She said: "Dad, we didn't talk about basketball. She wanted to know about my sisters, my grades, what high school I was going to attend and what classes at school that I liked."That afternoon some great basketball coaches spoke. Former Utah Jazz coach Frank Layden, Morgan Wooten from DeMatha High School, Self and Wooden. All of these men spoke with power, confidence and authority. They all inspired the group that was present. However, the outstanding speaker of the banquet that day was Kay Yow. She shared her thoughts with emotion, appreciation, love, gratitude and grace. She spoke from the heart and she won everyone over that day. Yow coached at N.C. State for 34 years and won 737 college games. She accomplished everything in woman's basketball that can be attained. She never told me about her cancer when we first met, and it was not until sometime later that I learned of her illness. We exchanged e-mails over the years, and whenever she would pull off a big win or upset I would send her a note. I sense that these last few months of her life were a very hard struggle. I believe that Kay wanted to live. She wanted to continue to do the thing she loved — coach young woman in basketball. But if you met her and knew her, then I think you would also say that she was not afraid to die. Her faith gave her the courage to face the final test, and, as in all things that Kay Yow ever did, I believe she came out victorious. We will all miss her and her example of grace and gratitude.
Coach Yow died Jan 24 after a decades-long fight against breast cancer. Burial services will be Saturday, Jan. 31 in her hometown of Gibsonville, N.C., which is just east of Greensboro.
Bill Freeze has had five daughters play high school basketball; three have gone on to play in college. He has coached youth, club and AAU girls teams for more than 20 years. He lives with his wife, Linda, in Lindon, Utah. They have 12 grandchildren and are active members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.