DEAR JOHN — ★★ — Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried, Richard Jenkins; rated PG-13 (violence, sex, profanity, brief gore, vulgarity, slurs); in general release
Someday, someone just might make a truly good movie out of a Nicholas Sparks novel.
That day is not today, however, and that movie is most definitely not "Dear John."
While this romantic drama is one of the better cinematic Sparks adaptations, that's really not saying much. Its competition includes "Message in a Bottle" (1999), "A Walk to Remember" (2002) and "Nights in Rodanthe" (2008).
And, with its awful and increasing silly third act, this one definitely pales in comparison to the 2004 hit "The Notebook," which is still the most watchable of the Sparks movies.
Channing Tatum ("G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra") stars as John Tyree, a U.S. Army Special Forces soldier who's waiting assignment while at home in South Carolina.
He's spending his break by surfing, which is how he meets Savannah Curtis (Amanda Seyfried, from "Mamma Mia!"). John rescues her purse, which is in danger of "drowning," and for the two of them, it's love at first sight.
Unfortunately, she's about to go back to school, and he's getting ready to return to active duty for another year. So they begin a series of correspondences by letter.
What's really frustrating is that the film's setup is not terrible. And Tatum and Seyfried, who mumble and mutter through their voice-over moments, have believable chemistry as a couple.
But there are the customary Sparks plot twists and accompanying tragedies, which this story doesn't need.
Subplots discussing autism and Asperger syndrome — Savannah's neighbor (Henry Thomas) is the father of an autistic boy, while John's father (Richard Jenkins) shows signs of high-functioning autism — are unnecessary, as well.
Those aren't the only problems, though. The movie lacks energy and vitality, and the slack direction, courtesy of veteran Lasse Hallstr? ("Chocolat," "The Shipping News") doesn't help.
Also, a few 9/11 trappings (the story starts early in 2001) add a certain distasteful, exploitative quality to the story.
"Dear John" is rated PG-13 and features some strong violent content and imagery (war violence, including shootings, gunplay and explosive mayhem, as well as some brief fisticuffs), a brief sex scene, scattered strong profanity, brief gory and bloody imagery, some suggestive language and references, and derogatory language and slurs (some based on supposed "developmental disabilities"). Running time: 107 minutes.
e-mail: jeff@desnews.com