(Kade) was always a very people-oriented guy, friendly, open, jovial. There wasn’t anybody who couldn’t like him. – Larry Fullmer
SOUTH JORDAN — The easy smile, quick wit and tough exterior belied the pain that Kade Tuff Fullmer battled every day.
There was the physical pain that came from multiple knee surgeries and losing his right hand in a boating accident. And there was the emotional pain that seeped from disappointment and broken dreams.
No one knows exactly which he was hoping to escape when the youngest of Don and Nedra Fullmer’s five sons died at the age of 31 on Sunday morning of an apparent drug overdose. What his family does know is that the world is a little darker, a little colder with the loss of a young man who was a dichotomy — mischievous and loving, struggling and triumphant.
“This time he seemed to be doing so well,” said his oldest brother, Larry Fullmer. “He struggled with addiction for a number of years. Sometimes he’d ask for help (saying), ‘I’ve hit rock bottom.’ Other times we kind of pushed him into (rehab). This last time, he knew he was in trouble. He didn’t want to go down that road again. He’d been off and he was doing so well. … He realized it and so we got him some help the best we could. … Who knows what triggered this?”
That’s the cruel reality of drug addiction.
It is a mystery to those who don’t understand the allure of substance abuse, to those who’ve never felt the grip of addiction, or to those who don’t know how hopelessness can obscure the path of a life beyond dependence. Kade Fullmer's family agreed to talk publicly about his struggles hoping that others might learn something from his untimely, tragic death.
"We've never hid it," Larry said. "In fact, we probably annoyed him with how open we were. We've always talked frankly about it because you can't help someone if you're not willing to admit it, to talk about it."
The Fullmers understand that the shame associated with addiction keeps many families silent. But Larry said not only is it a problem that many families are grappling with, the risks of silence can be deadly. He offers advice to those struggling with addiction, and at the same time, a voice of understanding and love to the families who are devastated by choices that have life-altering consequences.
"It caused all kinds of other problems for him," Larry said. "He lost jobs, he lost his driver's license, he lost the ability to go to school — there are just so many ramifications. … And I'm sure he has friends who've used drugs or are still using drugs, and to them I would say, life is too short."
Kade Fullmer’s drug addiction likely began in high school when the all-state offensive lineman dealt with multiple knee surgeries. In fact, the night he was awarded all-state honors his senior year, his brothers had to accept his trophy as he was in a hospital bed recovering from knee surgery.
He earned a scholarship to play football at Dixie State College, but in his freshman season he lost his right hand in a boating accident.
“The first indication there was a problem was when I took Mom and Dad to St. George to see him,” Larry Fullmer said. “A nurse came in and woke him up and said, ‘It’s time for your pain medication. This is Oxycontin.’ And he said, ‘What brand is it?’ I looked at the nurse and said, ‘This isn’t a good sign.’ ”
Larry said he even discovered some of Kade’s friends bringing him pain medication.
Kade tried to salvage his football career, and his brothers believe that his rush to get back on the field exacerbated the pain he felt in his right arm.
“I think he went back too quick, and his stump was too sensitive and too sore,” said Hud Fullmer, who was on the coaching staff at Bingham where Kade earned those all-state accolades. “He had a big heart; he was all heart.”
Hud brings his brothers to tears as he talks about how special it was to spend two years coaching his younger brother.
“He just had a tenacity on the football field,” Hud said. “He had that ability you talk about all the time as coaches — that he was a lot of fun and a great kid off the field, but when he put a helmet on, a switch went off. He was just that type of player who had a lot of tenacity and toughness.”
At 5-foot-11 and 220 pounds, Kade Fullmer relied on that grit to excel as an offensive guard in high school, although he played linebacker in college.
Kade also coached with Hud under coach Mike Miller at Riverton, as well as working as an assistant at Taylorsville.
“He loved being with kids,” Hud said, wiping tears from his face. “He loved the game.”
On Monday afternoon, Kade’s brothers gathered at their parents’ home to plan his funeral. They talked about Kade’s success as a football player, as a boxer, as a coach and most recently as the co-owner of Legends Boxing in Lehi.
“He was always a very people-oriented guy, friendly, open, jovial,” Larry said. “There wasn’t anybody who couldn’t like him.”
Troy Fullmer recalled Kade’s toughness, while Brad Fullmer talked about how his baby brother learned to shoot with his left hand so they could continue hunting together.
Brad and Hud laughed through tears as they recalled the time they were laying in a potato field waiting for geese to fly overhead. Kade asked Hud if he thought he could hit Brad with one of the small potatoes left in the field by a farmer, and of course Hud encouraged him to try.
“He hit Brad right in the mouth,” Hud laughed. “About knocked him out.”
Kade’s brothers may not have known how to help him battle his drug addiction that moved from prescription pain medication to heroin, but they never stopped trying. Sometimes it was tough love and tears, other times it was a helping hand and a hug.
"It was such a waste," Larry Fullmer said. "He could have been such an inspiration to people … but it was wasted because he couldn't beat the drug problem."
His family, especially his mom who is battling cancer, cannot help but second-guess their decisions. They wonder what if and why, but even as they learn the details of his final days, the real answers remain elusive.
The only certainty is what the Fullmer brothers have known ever since their parents brought the bright-eyed little guy home nearly 31 years ago — that they loved him as much as they could, the only way they knew how, and not even death will change that.
Kade Fullmer is survived by his mother, Nedra; brothers: Larry (Claudia), Brad (Marcie), Troy (Janet) and Hud (Brenda); and dozens of nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, including his uncles Jay Fullmer and former world boxing champion Gene Fullmer. He was preceded in death by his father, Don, who passed away three years ago this month.
A funeral will be held Saturday at 11 a.m. at SLCC’s Jordan Campus LDS Institute, 9000 South Bangerter Highway.
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