SOUTH JORDAN — It was a Saturday morning like most in the Cramer home. Despite being tired and drained from the daily rigor of an active duty Army career, Sean Cramer got up with his kids to do something they would lovingly remember for years to come — clean the house.
Playing some music, he danced with his daughter between the chores. Later, he took her grocery shopping, picking up a doughnut along the way.
"While it was a task probably most kids wouldn't want to do, it was our time to talk and just be together," Cramer said. "When you're busy, you take little opportunities to do things with your kids."
Erin Loder, Cramer's now 26-year-old daughter, had this and other fond memories in mind when she nominated her dad for the 2018 Utah Haggar Hall of Fame Dad.
When Cramer, now a retired U.S. Army sergeant major, found out he had won, he said he thought, "I don't know why me. I'm just an average dad."
But Loder says otherwise.
"I just appreciate his sacrifices he not only made while being in the military and deployments, but at home, too," she said. "He taught us everything about hard work and dedication. Without the love reflected in our house. … I wouldn't be the person I am today."
Winning Utah dad
While considering the Hall of Fame Dads nominations, Haggar Clothing Co. said it looked for a range of attributes, including, "strength, integrity, generosity and courage while influencing their children, extended family and friends to do the same."
The company chose one dad from each state, and each finalist dad won a prize package of Haggar clothing and a football signed by former NFL football player Emmitt Smith.
Public voting is now underway to narrow the 50 finalists down to one dad who will win the title of national Haggar Hall of Fame Dad. The winner also gets a VIP trip to his choice of the 2018 Pro Football Hall of Fame or Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame enshrinement ceremony.
"(Winning the award) is a reaffirmation of what I try to be for them, and I'm honored that she nominated me and that I was selected," said Cramer. "I by no means think that I'm some super dad, ’cause I just think these are the things that all men should aspire to."
Cramer was humble about his win, despite having served in the Army for 23 years while supporting his family and being there for his kids at the same time.
"I'm glad I'm her hero even though I'm not a hero in any other way," he said.
Military brat kids
Cramer has three kids — Loder, a 24-year-old son and a 22-year-old son — who grew up moving about every 18 months.
"Along with that, there's some destabilization with the family, so we always tried to make it a real adventure," Cramer said. "Every time we moved somewhere new, we'd try to get them excited about the place. We'd look up things about the places before we got there and we just made it an adventure."
Loder said her unique childhood was difficult at times.
"But the way my mom and dad made it, they taught us everything was a journey, just another chapter in our book," she said. "While it was tough, it was more exciting the more we moved."
Along with the frequent moves, the family was also challenged with Cramer's stretched-thin schedule.
"I was serving full-time active duty, I was going through the master's distance learning so I was spending a lot of time on the computer, but I was also coaching two baseball teams with my boys, and you do it because kids are the priority," Cramer said.
Loder said her dad was her No. 1 sports supporter, coming to every one of her junior high and high school basketball games, home and away. And at dinnertime, whenever he could be there, he would ask each of his kids what the high and low was of their day.
"I appreciate that as an adult," Loder said. "It allowed us to talk about our days. We each had that time to talk with our parents."
Cramer said he loved every single day of his Army career.
"I think I approached being a father the same way — always be the best man you can be, don't let your kids down," he said. "'Cause they count on you. You form them and all of their attitudes and their principles and values, and if you're not always vigilant about demonstrating them and teaching them, you're letting them down."
Fatherhood history
"I think for me I've always just been driven to be the best dad I could be because, not that I didn't have a good dad, I just didn't have a good experience," Cramer said.
He came from a broken home where his parents loved him but didn't love each other, he said.
"That caused a lot of problems. There was a lot of trauma there as a young kid."
Cramer said he hates it when people say they can't rise above their past circumstances.
"I just knew that I wanted to be a great parent when that day came," Cramer said.
He said after his own childhood, he's always been a largely concerned that his own kids grew up with strong values.
"And the only way you can instill (values) is by being present for them," he said. "And that doesn't mean you're always there, but it means when you are there, you're giving them your attention."
Adjusting post-Army
"We came back and went through the culture shock of, 'OK, what do I do now?'" Cramer said. "And I got two degrees while I was in, but that transition to the civilian world was not easy. You have to learn a whole new way of communicating with people than what you were used to."
Cramer said despite getting retirement pay from his Army service when he retired at 43, he decided to also start a new career — this time in business — to give his family a good quality of life.
Over the years of Army service, Cramer developed back injuries and chronic lyme disease.
"I'm not who you think of when you think of disabled vet," he said. "I think most of us think of the person that maybe lost an arm or leg or something. I came out of it with problems from just wear and tear on your body from just doing crazy physical things for two decades, but you know, it's just the way it goes."
Cramer said remembering some of his fellow soldiers who lost their lives still reminds him to be grateful for each day he has with his own family.
"It's nice to know that you're there, and you're still alive, you have another day with your kids, and not to take it lightly," he said.
Cramer said the biggest takeaway he's learned from being an Army dad is to cherish the small moments with his kids.
"If your kids look at you like you're something, then it doesn't matter who you are or where you're at job-wise or what you make," Cramer said. "Be that hero for them."