Religious women, and especially Latter-day Saint women, really are happier than most Americans. This is clear in a recent BYU Studies article my colleagues and I published.
Yet we also found the retention rate among Latter-day Saint women is decreasing. As a religion professor and a mother of two daughters, that is concerning to me.
So, why do some in the millennial generation of Latter-day Saint women (30-45 years old), in particular, seem to have a harder time with retention than those of previous generations?
In considering various answers to that question, let’s be careful not to overfocus on a single explanation and potentially throw out the baby with the bathwater. If Latter-day Saint women report the highest levels of happiness, peace and well-being, why would we undermine the institution, teachings and way of life that created that outcome?
What has changed most in young women’s lives?
Rather than narrowly blaming an institution, teaching, person or policy, I believe it’s time to step back and look at the larger picture. We might ask ourselves, for instance, what influences in this generation of women have stayed consistent? And what has changed substantially in their lives?
Although religious policies, practices and people have changed, the foundational doctrines, teachings, structure and purpose of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have stayed remarkably consistent throughout the lives of younger generations.
So, what has changed or significantly shifted during this generation? The larger culture, society, climate, environment, philosophy and values — in other words, the “millennial zeitgeist.”
Christian Smith, a world-renowned scholar at Notre Dame, has studied cultural characteristics and philosophies among millennials that are distinct from previous generations. For instance, the millennial zeitgeist tends to insist that:
- No person or institution can claim to possess ultimate truth. Those who do are indefensible and unacceptable.
- Social institutions are inherently impersonal, which is bad, and tend strongly to be corrupted by money and power, which is worse.
- The possibility of historical tradition guiding one’s life is nearly inconceivable.
- It is better to maintain one’s autonomy, safety and options, even at the cost of some loneliness.
- Authentic selves are continually at risk of being denied, twisted and oppressed.
For anyone who embraces these ideas, is it hard to imagine the concrete impact it would have on how they view faith, family and everything else?
So pervasive, almost invisible
Many people — young and old — soak in these philosophies and hardly recognize what they are swimming in. Like fish oblivious to the surrounding water, humans can be blind to the environments, cultures and biases that shape their daily decisions.
Recently, I watched a popular movie with my 10-year-old daughter — and cringed as I spotted the messaging and angles that permeated the entire storyline. As the show concluded, I asked my daughter what she thought of the movie. “I loved it!” she declared. “I can be and do anything I want.”
“Who was the bad person?” I asked. “The mom!” she said, explaining that she had been “getting in the way of the girl doing what she wanted … she’s taking away the fun. Just let the girl be whatever she wants!”
She went on to say that the mom’s ideas — and the organization “telling her mom what to think” — were both “hurting her daughter.”
Social media as a zeitgeist amplifier
This particular set of cultural assumptions is especially prevalent on social media and in the more liberal political parties.
As millennial and Gen Z women are both more likely than previous generations of women — and any generation of men — to use social media, it should be no surprise that a clear correlation exists between women leaving the church and high social media usage (political persuasion is also correlated).
Secular culture undermining faith
Can you see why it may be difficult for a Latter-day Saint millennial woman embracing these philosophies popular among peers to stay committed to a faith tradition that is at odds with much of the prevailing cultural zeitgeist of the day?
The Church of Jesus Christ, after all, teaches almost the opposite of what the millennial zeitgeist is — encouraging a community built upon principles of righteousness, sacrifice, personal responsibility and accountability, virtue, charity, covenant relationships, consecration, unity, truth, and hard work.
This clashes with the popular and prevalent moral relativism, selfishness, individualism, comparisons, comfort, skepticism, immediate gratification and autonomy. For one who comes to believe that truth is relative, authority figures cannot be trusted, organized religions are corrupt, traditions are false and individualism is critical, how could we ever expect them to see traditional faith favorably?
None of this is to suggest the faith communities and churches where we worship are somehow perfect. We need to keep seeking improvement and growth. President Dallin H. Oaks, in a recent interview with Jane Clayson Johnson, acknowledged that the church has “not always been wise in using the great qualification and powers of the daughters of God.” He then added, “We have work left to do, but we are a lot better off than we were even a decade ago.”
But it should surprise no one that as the rising generation is increasingly influenced by these millennial philosophies, the more at odds they become with traditional family structure and values; absolute truth; authority figures like prophets and parents; and consecrated efforts inviting obedience, unity and sacrifice from us all.
This subtle yet pervasive shift in thinking can spark severe discord and be a driving force of contention in individuals, families and communities. Yet rather than recognize the deepest source of this conflict, many of these young people end up casually dismissing the people and traditions that will most likely lead them to the happiness they are actually seeking.
What young women need — and how older generations can listen
In my experience, many Latter-day Saint millennial women are already articulate, confident, intelligent, aware and grounded in their faith and are acutely aware of their identity and purpose. They are strong and resilient, find great happiness and peace, and express an overall sense of well-being.
But they also have good ideas for improvement. And for those of us in the older generations, may I suggest that we need to humbly listen to feedback, counsel with each other, and even — and perhaps especially — learn from and implement the ideas and teachings of younger women.
More than ever before, millennial women and younger generations need to be grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ in order to clearly and distinctly discern and distinguish between the gospel truths that lead to happiness, peace and well-being versus the many false philosophies of the millennial zeitgeist that potentially lead to loneliness, despair and despondency.
Women of the millennial generation and younger dearly need confident women mentors who live by foundational and well-proven religious values, including virtue and charity, and who thus go forth powerfully and unitedly leading the world in the happiest of ways. They need to see women and men working together, respecting each other’s unique roles and responsibilities, and acting together in faith and synergy rather than fear and competition.
This is the tragedy of turning against the very institutions actively promoting truth among young men and women.
If, in fact, this millennial zeitgeist is leading women away from a way of life proven to result in high levels of happiness, peace and overall well-being, it’s time for an urgent look at those popular politics and philosophies in which people are drowning, rather than blaming the pool and lifeguards.