In 1954, at a picnic in suburban Illinois, two mothers discovered they had something in common — something very much out of the ordinary for the time. They were both breastfeeding their babies.
Other mothers at the picnic spoke of how they wished they had had support and knowledge to breastfeed, as well, but there was none to be found in American culture at the time. As Marian Tompson, one of those breastfeeding moms at that picnic, who became a co-founder of the global breastfeeding support organization La Leche League, later explained: “Breastfeeding was something you did if you were poor. Breastfeeding was considered inferior and embarrassing. We had to convince women they could still consider themselves good mothers if they breastfed.”
Fast-forward 70 years, and my, how times have changed. Several surgeons general of the United States have promoted breastfeeding as the optimal nutrition for infants, and it is supported by professional organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, which recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months and combined breastfeeding/solid food until the child is 2 or older. Even the World Health Organization and UNICEF support breastfeeding, and whole medical journals are now devoted to research on breastfeeding and breastmilk. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention charts breastfeeding across the nation and notes there has been a surge in breastfeeding over the past several decades, with 84% of newborns now having been breastfed at least once, with 1 in 4 still exclusively breastfeeding at six months.
La Leche League International has grown as well. It is now a global organization with many semi-autonomous subgroups such as LLL USA and the LLL Alliance, as well as similar organizations throughout the world.
Tompson, now a 94-year-old widow still living in Illinois, would have every reason to rest on her laurels and fade into the sunset. But she’s doing nothing of the kind. In fact, last week, Tompson very publicly resigned her position on the board of directors of La Leche League International, feeling she is no longer able to be associated with the organization she helped found.
That’s because La Leche League International, whose stated mission is “to help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education, and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother,” has chosen to support males who desire to lactate.
Tompson’s resignation letter illuminates her reasoning:
“On November 6, 2024, I resigned from the LLLI Board of Directors and from LLL itself, an organization that has become a travesty of my original intent. From an organization with the specific Mission of supporting biological women who want to give their babies the best start in life by breastfeeding them, LLL’s focus has subtly shifted to include men who, for whatever reason, want to have the experience of breastfeeding despite no careful long-term research on male lactation and how that may affect the baby. This shift from following the norms of Nature, which is the core of mothering through breastfeeding, to indulging the fantasies of adults, is destroying our organization.”
In an interview, Tompson further explained her position to me, saying, “There is no justification for experimentation on newborn babies. No one knows the effects of the multiple drugs and hormones used by these males on the health of babies; there are no long-term studies at all. Indeed, one of the drugs almost always used to induce lactation — domperidone — is actually banned in the United States. How can we justify experimenting on babies, who cannot give any type of consent? How is this ethical?”
In addition, Tompson also objects to the elimination of single-sex breastfeeding support group meetings, and the league’s erasure of words such as “mother” and “breast.” When she raised the issue of mothers who, because of religious beliefs or previous sex-based violence, could not breastfeed with men present in the support group, she was told by a board member that these “sensitive” women could go sit in a different room with the door cracked open so they could hear the discussion. Back of the bus for those moms: make room for the far more important males.
Tompson says that she was repeatedly gaslit, and discussion was shut down at every turn. Private objections were ignored; public comments were deleted and their authors banned. Tompson was even chastised for addressing the all-female board as “ladies.” Says Tompson, “It reminded me of Orwell’s ‘1984′ and Huxley’s ‘Brave New World.’”
This was echoed by Miriam Main, a trustee of LLGB, who resigned for the same reason, after LLLI dis-accredited the bulk of the LLLGB Board for refusing to help males lactate, with Main citing LLLI’s “bullying, lies, and cruelty.”
In other words, the desires of males would be privileged — by La Leche League, of all organizations — over the interests of women and nursing infants. Says Tompson, “I realized I could not stay. I had to leave. The hardest part of this scenario was coming to the decision to leave but once this was clear, I felt liberated.”
The reactions from within La Leche League to Tompson’s resignation have been varied. The executive director offered this “Ministry of Truth” formulation: “We respect Marian’s decision regarding La Leche League International. Her contributions and legacy are highly valued as a founder. We will continue to uphold the values of empathy and understanding that are central to La Leche League.”
Translation? We don’t care what our founder thinks; we’re not changing course.
Other sub-organizations were far less obscure. LLLAlliance: “While we do not agree with her rationale on the direction of LLL, we respect that Marian is entitled to her opinion.” LLL USA: “The LLL USA Council is aware of the recent resignation letter sent out by Marian Tompson, one of the original founders of La Leche League. We want to take this opportunity to address concerns and reaffirm our unwavering commitment to supporting all parents and families, inclusive of all gender identities and every family structure. ... We understand that the recent comments made by Marian Tompson may cause harm, anger, and confusion, and we want to offer our heartfelt apologies to those affected. Please know that we stand with you, and we will continue to make compassionate and inclusive support our top priority.”
LLL Canada: “Recently, one of the founders of La Leche League resigned from the La Leche League International Board and shared her reason for her resignation. She shared that she did not feel that La Leche League was operating in integrity to our mission because we support men feeding their babies human milk. ... We believe in adding more chairs to the table — welcoming everyone who needs support on their parenting and lactation journey. ... No one should feel excluded from accessing compassion, guidance, and care.”
On the other hand, a number of La Leche League leaders are turning in their resignations, for they refuse to sign the Statement of Commitment obligating them to support male lactation and to accept the presence of males in breastfeeding support meetings. (I am one of them.) Donations to the organization are drying up over the issue. There is talk among those leaving of forming a new organization that cleaves to the original, single-sex vision of breastfeeding support held by the founding mothers. In the United Kingdom, a formal complaint has been lodged with the national Charity Commission, stating that the LLLGB charity has legally violated its chartered mission. In several countries of the Global South where homosexuality and transgenderism have been banned, La Leche League leaders are afraid they will be subject to criminal penalties if they hew to LLLI policies, and they may have to quit the organization for that reason.
The ferment gives Tompson hope. First, she says, “breastfeeding is in the news again — that’s good!” But then Tompson says, more provocatively, “There is a reason for this happening. When things get so upside down, that means a change is coming.”
She may be right on that. In the 119th Congress next year, senators and representatives will reintroduce the “Defining Male and Female Act,” which will fulfill President-elect Donald Trump’s promise to pass a law defining that there are only two sexes recognized by the federal government. Breastfeeding is a sexed act, and thus excluding males from breastfeeding support groups could not be considered discriminatory under the traditional interpretations of sex which will be reinstated under the Trump administration.
In addition, public opinion has veered more sharply against the inclusion of biological men in women’s sports and spaces with every passing year. This is a reverse of the gradual acceptance by the American public, indicating that the more Americans learn about these issues, the less they support them.
Marian Tompson is a hero. She could have kept her mouth shut; she could have gone along and enjoyed a saccharine send-off by the organization she helped found. But she didn’t. At 94, she stood up and said, “This is wrong.” She did it for mothers, she did it for babies, and she did it for her co-founder friends who have passed on and who, she says, “would be turning over in their graves.” Courage calls to courage everywhere, and Marian Tompson’s courage burns brightly indeed.