Dear Abby: Could you please answer the following question for me: When your spouse dies, are his parents still your in-laws?
I am involved with a widower I'll call John, who always refers to his late wife's parents as "my in-laws."I do not consider my late husband's family my in-laws any longer. To be honest with you, I am glad to be rid of them - with the exception of one, whom I consider a friend now, not an in-law.
I feel that John is having trouble letting go of his late wife's memory. I haven't any problem with his being friends with them, but after a couple is divorced, they no longer have in-laws, so why not in death?
- Wondering
Dear Wondering: When John's wife died, technically, her parents became his former in-laws, but he probably continues to refer to them as his in-laws out of habit and respect.
Dear Abby: You ought to be ashamed of yourself for advising Mrs. Bogus (whose name was changed from Buguslaski) to stick with "bogus" because it's much easier to spell, pronounce and remember. I am proud of my brothers for not changing our name, which is Szczepanski, to one that might have been easier to spell and remember. I am also proud of our grandchildren who never complained about our name, which is not easy to spell, pronounce or remember.
- Theresa Szczepanski
Sienkiewicz, Jersey City, N.J.
Dear Theresa: (Do you mind if I just call you "Theresa"?) You win.
Dear Abby: An acquaintance of ours offered to get us some fireworks for our Fourth of July celebration. He dropped them off and we paid for them.
When we opened them, we realized there is no way they could be legal for private use.
Abby, I don't know what to do with them! They are in our garage covered up. How can we get rid of them without getting into trouble? Please hurry your answer.
- Innocent Yet Guilty in Florida
Dear Innocent: Since I don't know the size of your town, or what public services it offers (such as Hazardous Waste Removal), the place to call would be your fire department. Explain that you have some combustible materials that need to be disposed of. I'm sure they will be happy to be of assistance.