Pigs didn't fly, the sun didn't set in the east and Madonna didn't exhibit class Saturday, but something nearly as unfathomable occurred.
Air Force beat BYU in football.The Falcons didn't just edge the Cougars, either. They embarrassed them 38-12. It was Air Force's first-ever win at home over BYU.
"This was like a slap in the face to BYU's pride," said Cougar cornerback Dermmell Reed.
Air Force has had numerous outstanding teams over the years, but in 17 chances before Saturday the Falcons owned only a single, one-point road victory over the Cougars and that came 13 years ago. Veteran Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry was 0-11 lifetime against the Cougars.
"It's been a long time coming," DeBerry said. "It's good to get this off our back . . . I'm very choked up. It's hard not to show my emotions."
But the thousands of Air Force cadets in the stands wearing full dress uniforms - including coats - in temperatures nearing the century mark, had little trouble showing their emotions after the game. In celebration they rushed the field and tore down the goal posts on both sides of Falcon Stadium. The posts were down in record time in a workmanlike fashion that would make Uncle Sam proud of his troops' efficiency.
The Cougars, who have seen far too many goal posts torn down at their expense the past few seasons, left the field shaking their heads.
"We didn't play BYU football today," said Cougar tight end Chad Lewis. "I've watched BYU football all my life and today wasn't it."
The Cougars were outplayed in every aspect of the game - offensively, defensively and on special teams. It started ugly for BYU, only to get worse.
"We were never in sync," BYU coach LaVell Edwards said. "We looked like we were running around out there in buckets of sand."
The Falcons led 7-0 before quarterback Steve Sarkisian took his first snap from center as a Cougar. Air Force went 80 yards on seven plays on their opening drive with quarterback Beau Morgan taking it himself the final four yards for the score - and the game was less than two minutes old.
Morgan was one of a number of players that had to leave the game as a consequence of the near 100-degree heat on the field. Late in the opening quarter, with the Falcons leading 7-0 and driving, Morgan was taken to an ambulance because his heartbeat was racing due to the combination of the heat and medication he'd taken.
Tommy Brown, a Dixie High alum, picked up right where Morgan left off, directing the Falcons the final 20 yards for their second touchdown, a one-yard run by Jake Campbell with 1:07 to play in the opening quarter.
The Cougar defense gift wrapped outstanding field position for Sarkisian and Co. twice in the second quarter, but BYU came up empty handed both times.
Cougar safety Jamie Cook forced a fumble and lineman John Raass recovered at the Falcon 26 with 11:03 to play in the half. The Cougars drove to the five, where they had first and goal. Two plays later running back Hema Heimuli dropped a pass in the end zone. On fourth down Bill Hansen's 22-yard, chip-shot field goal was blocked.
On Air Force's very next offensive play a Brown pass was intercepted by Cougar corner Tim McTyer and returned to the Falcon 26.
Again the Cougar offense stalled. Hansen lined up for a field goal attempt, but didn't get a kick away as holder Mike Johnston dropped the ball.
"We did not capitalize when our defense gave us opportunities and that was the key to the game," Lewis said. "When we get turnovers like that, we've got to score as an offense."
After the Cougars blew fine field position twice, Brown led the Falcons on an eight play, 68-yard scoring drive to give them a 21-0 lead at the half.
Morgan, who received two quarts of glucose during his stay in the ambulance, returned to action in the third quarter. He hooked up with receiver Marc Ranger for a 37-yard TD pass with 11:35 to play in the third to give the Falcons a four-touchdown lead.
"I'm going to get me some of that (glucose)," DeBerry said. "I'm not a drinker, but maybe I'll start drinking what he got. Beau showed a lot of courage to come out of an ambulance and play the second half."
BYU finally scored, keeping its NCAA-record non-shutout streak alive at 250 games, on a one-yard TD pass from Sarkisian to Itula Mili with 6:14 to play in the third quarter. The extra point snap was muffed, however, so the game remained 28-6.
Air Force added a field goal and another touchdown to take a 38-6 lead before the Cougars scored a meaningless TD on a five-yard pass from Sarkisian to KO Kealaluhi with 2:52 remaining.
Sarkisian completed 25 of 42 for 346 yards and two touchdowns with two interceptions. Lewis, who caught four passes for 100 yards, and punter Alan Boardman, who averaged 46.4 yards on five kicks, were the only real standouts.
The Cougars could never get a ground attack going. Counting the negative 41 yards attributed to Sarkisian because of sacks, BYU rushed for a total of minus-29 yards as a team.
Heimuli, who carried the ball seven times for a team-best 19 yards, pointed the finger of blame at himself. "We weren't ready to step up as an offense and the biggest problem was No. 15," said Heimuli said, referring to the numeral on his jersey. "If I catch that ball in the end zone it would have made a huge difference in the game."
Air Force outgained the Cougars in total offense by nearly 200 yards (523 to 317). Campbell led the Falcons with 104 yards on 13 carries, while Brown gained 83 yards on 13 attempts. Morgan finished with 65 yards rushing and 117 passing.
The Cougars will try to regroup before playing nationally-ranked UCLA next Saturday in their home opener.
"We're not going to overreact. We just have to come back next week and have business as usual," Edwards said.