Bruce Marchiano likes to tell people that he's nothing special. Just a man very much loved by his Father -- as are we all, he says -- who got to walk a couple of miles in Jesus' shoes.
When his journey began, he was a desperate, out-of-work actor. But he still shuddered when he sent off his photo and resume to South African director Regardt Van Den Bergh. The role was Jesus. God was calling him to serve.Again.
The first time God called him to service was not an altogether happy experience. Indeed, Marchiano was a deeply religious man. Raised Catholic, he became "born again" in 1989 when, during a low point in both career and personal life, he turned his life over to Jesus Christ.
But he was an actor. And claiming Christ in Hollywood is no picnic, he said in a telephone interview.
Marchiano will make several appearances in Salt Lake City over the Valentine's Day weekend. (See accompanying schedule.)
That first time God called him, against his better judgment he spent six weeks with a "drama mission" in Australia. The group ministered and performed, staying with families and relying on strangers. It was 1991 and to say he was a reluctant missionary would be an understatement. He flat out didn't want to commit "career suicide." But he couldn't resist God's wooing.
It was a rich experience. "I cried every night with the joy of watching people receive Jesus Christ."
The glow didn't last. When he returned, he was horrified to find his formerly "cooking" career was cooling fast. His agent dropped him. He couldn't seem to turn in a good audition, much less land a role.
He had done this very nice thing for God, he figured, going on the mission. And suddenly his life was falling apart. Financially, "it was a matter of deciding if I'm going to eat or if my dog's going to eat."
"It was a terrible time. I was seriously angry with God, though my faith was strong. I struggled with God with a capital "S." When people say 'I'll suffer for God,' I say, 'You can have it. I'm not interested in it.' "
He was so desperate that he figured he'd have to make a career change -- his second, since he'd left a career in law to become an actor. He could just picture his family's "I told you so" looks if he failed this one, too.
Picture this: He's within days of giving up. And here comes a chance. Playing Jesus. That God thing again.
It wasn't even tempting.
"The way I looked at it, my life had been ruined enough by Christian mission work," he said. "And that's what I figured Christian films were. I remember thinking, I've got enough nails in my (professional) coffin already."
Director Van Den Bergh had his own frustrations. He was casting a movie, the word-for-word account of the Gospel of Matthew, the first in a series of movies by Visual Bible International to put the entire Scriptures down on film. But he needed a Jesus and couldn't find one who spoke to his heart.
He felt God wanted him to use someone who was born again, but he hadn't encountered such a man in dozens of auditions. He'd searched South Africa, scoured Europe and held tryouts in the United States. He had one audition left and figured he'd have to go back to his list of rejected actors and pick one.
With only six weeks until filming was to begin, Marchiano walked through the door and smiled. The smile sealed it. Van Den Bergh had been looking for a "joyous" Jesus, and Marchiano, of Italian and Syrian descent, a big smile on his face, looked like nothing less than a gift from God.
That's how Marchiano landed in Morocco six years ago at what was to be the start of an emotionally erratic, wondrous adventure from which he would emerge a changed man.
"Intense isn't the word. There were tremendous challenges emotionally," says Marchiano, who pauses occasionally to joke with and describe the actions of his German Shepherd and roommate, Chubby. "There was physical exhaustion, I think somewhat like going to war because of all the emotional stirring. It was the most victorious and heartbreaking time. There was nothing mellow or lukewarm about it. We were going at 10,000 RPMs or zero."
He had no idea how to play the Son of God. It was hard enough just memorizing what Jesus said.
"The Lord wanted me to become dependent on him," Marchiano says. "He wanted to chip away my ego and distractions."
Scenes troubled him. In the book he wrote for Harvest House Publishers, "In the Footsteps of Jesus," Marchiano said he couldn't figure out, for instance, what Jesus was thinking as he yelled at the money changers in the temple. He prayed repeatedly for insight -- and got flashes of discernment.
While preparing for the scene where Christ cures a leper, it flashed on him that Christ would have been as tender with that leper -- shunned by everyone else -- as a parent comforting a child. A mother or father, confronted with a child who was ill or disfigured, would kneel in the dirt and enfold that child in a loving embrace. He felt that tenderness, and that's what Marchiano did.
Some of the discernment came in painful, disorienting bursts. All of it changed his heart. The mystery of how God could "so love the world that he gave his only begotten son" was no longer a mystery. It was just proof of a father's love for his children.
Filming of the movie has been over for a long time. It has been watched by hundreds of thousands of people around the globe. But the changes in Marchiano seem to be permanent, he says.
Though he's now a well-employed actor, he spends 80 percent of his time in ministry, telling people about his savior. It's a hard life at times, filled with joy and struggle.
He talks of "tremendous responsibility. My calling is not so much to be a Christian as to be a Christ." Aware that sounds odd, perhaps arrogant, he clarifies, "He is the model of how we are called to conduct our lives. My calling is to model that. I am convinced that we are too busy playing church, and we are not being Jesus to the people. We are not living the lifestyle of giving, the lifestyle of caring, the lifestyle of prioritizing people and the God who created them. I think all of our calling is to live as close to the model as we can."
Simple. But "never easy."
Marchiano says he realizes now that no matter what happens in his life, he is truly loved by a joyous Lord.
"The concept of a Jesus of joy was a revelation to me. I had a concept like most of the world has: very ethereal, aloof, mystical, a physically perfect human being. I discovered something quite the opposite.
"As I began to explore the realities of his life, as opposed to the religion of his life, I encountered joy beyond joy."
What, Marchiano wonders, could be more joy-giving than setting people free physically, emotionally and spiritually. "This could not have been a dour individual. His sense of humor leaped out at me. When he spoke, it was often in double entendre. He was enjoying life, having great fun."
And there were moments of great sorrow, as well. Marchiano believes Christ was not so much angry with the money changers as he was heartbroken. He loved them and knew the lives they were leading would destroy them. He was begging them to change.
Marchiano has just completed his second book, a "photographic journey" titled "Jesus." It uses production stills to create a photographic journey through the life of Jesus. But it's divorced from the film.
Like the movie and the earlier book, it is a cry for people to "take Jesus up on his offer of 2000 years ago.
" 'Come to me. You'll find rest for your soul.' "