By the time Ben Thurgood had graduated from BYU, economics diploma in hand, he had lived in nine separate apartments in approximately five years. And the various inhabitants of those apartments had shown him the good, the bad and the ugly of roommates.
The good was embodied by a photography major whose love and passion for what he studied motivated Thurgood. The bad was one roommate who never left the apartment and sat listless around the apartment.
And the ugly? A trio of freshmen who created an intense video-game-playing environment of "World of Warcraft," dirty dishes and trash mounds.
"They couldn't leave the game for long, so they ran to the counter and then ran back, and they would use clean dishes and fill the sink," he said. "When they ran out of dishes, they'd just run and buy more, and then the counters were covered with dishes from the counter to the cupboard."
Though the apartment had to be cleaned to pass cleaning inspections once a month, Thurgood said it only took a couple days for the apartment to degenerate to its smelly, trash-laden state again. Apartment hygiene wasn't the only element that suffered with the situation.
"By time I got there in winter, they were completely nocturnal," Thurgood said. "They'd go to bed at 7 a.m. and they'd sleep all day, so I'd tiptoe around the apartment, not wanting to wake up my roommates, until they woke up at 7 p.m."
On the other hand, Thurgood says, there are some roommates who make living with others an enjoyable, even life-enhancing experience, like the photographer he admired.
"My favorite roommates were the ones I could talk to about intelligent things, who I could talk about meaningful topics with," he said. "We'd have real, involved conversations, and we'd argue, but it was so enriching."
And lest you think Thurgood's experience was an oddity, a rare, extreme fluke, author Oonagh O'Hagan has evidence to prove bizarre situations are often the name of the roommate game.
After living with a roommate who, although pleasant in person, was passive-aggressive and left notes all over the apartment, O'Hagan started a Web site at roommatesanonymous.com as an open forum for notes of roommate-related frustrations and elations.
"I remember reading through them and thinking it was almost like a book," she said. "And then I wondered if it could be a book. I started asking friends, colleagues, students, and I soon realized lots of people had these kind of issues and these kind of notes."
Ultimately, those notes did make it into a book titled "I Lick My Cheese," which is divided into color-coded sections by category, such as "food and other notes from the kitchen" and "personal hygiene and other notes from the bathroom." The book is a note-filled chronicle of the frustrations, from the obscene to the hilarious, that are implicit in cohabitation. The whole roommate concept interested O'Hagan because of her own various experiences.
"I spent nearly 10 years of my life sharing with a very eclectic selection of people, and if you didn't laugh about it, you would end up doing a lot of crying," she said.
But lest it all seem too negative, there are also good notes, ones that convey real friendship, care and concern. However, O'Hagan said, roommates don't need to be best friends to have a positive experience, they just need to be decent and realistic.
"You don't have to be friends with the people, you just have to be able to live with them," she said. "Be civil, but you don't have to hang out and be best friends 24/7."
Laura Andreasen, a BYU student from Illinois who spent two years as a resident adviser in the Heritage Halls dorm, said that while people can disagree over things related to music and noise, cleanliness and food, most issues take root in simple differences in upbringing. Understanding that, she said, is half the battle.
"I would say, be willing to give and take," Andreasen said. "Come in assuming that you are coming into an apartment of people who have been raised differently and don't have the same opinions as you."
But sometimes those issues can unite apartments, as well. Andreasen said one apartment of girls banded together to win the coveted "cleaning crispies" prize that was awarded to the cleanest apartment and had a great time doing that.
"I had an apartment of girls that had set up their apartment like a hotel," she said. "They folded their toilet paper, put mints on their pillows and had classical musical playing. They really wanted to win … it was their pride and joy."
At the very least, Andreasen said, living with roommates is an important training ground that teaches consideration for others and self-awareness.
"Learn from each other," she said. "In the end, it's only a year, and you can do it. If you are open to compromise and are willing to learn from your roommates and grow, then you'll have a good year."
e-mail: emorgan@desnews.com