MURRAY — If only life came with a built-in timer that told you when enough is enough. As often is the case, it was the last wave, the last desire to ride just a few minutes longer as he was bodysurfing at a California beach that nearly did Jack Rushton in, that caused him to hit his head on a submerged rock, break his neck, sever his spinal chord and land in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic on life support.
If not for the wave, his life over the past 21 years would certainly have been different — but would it have been better?
"The last thing I want, that anyone in this circumstance wants, is pity," says Rushton. "Don't feel sorry for me. I am genuinely happy; I have a quality life."
Rushton, now 70, a religious leader and educator who lives in Southern California, is author of "It's Good to be Alive: Observations From a Wheelchair" (Cedar Fort, $19.99) and recently visited Salt Lake City for a book tour, to speak to rehab patients and to attend his LDS mission reunion.
Rushton's message, and the message of the book, he says, "is always a message of hope. We must not let the difficult circumstances of life defeat us, hold us hostage or keep us from achieving our full potential."
He admits that realization did not come to him the next day. "I was devastated. I thought I had lost so much, that I would never be happy again or have quality of life. But I was proven wrong." It took him about five years to come to terms with his new life; he hopes some of the insights and lessons he learned may add a few shortcuts to someone's else's journey.
"When I came to grips with the fact that I was going to be the same today, tomorrow, next month, next year, my life began to change. I've always loved something I heard President Monson quote from the movie 'Shenandoah,' where Jimmy Stewart said, 'If you don't try, you don't do. And if you don't do, why are you here?' I do believe that."
It was when Rushton realized that he could still serve, that there were ways he could still communicate, still help others, that he began to move forward.
"At first, it was enough just to be able to breathe, and the rest was icing on the cake. Then, I realized that if life is just breathing, it's not much of a life."
He credits three major influences for his remarkable change of attitude and life: his faith, his family and friends, and a sense of humor.
"I realized that I was not smart enough or strong enough to do it alone," he says. "I know that the Savior strengthened my spirit. My depression, my sorrow, my hopelessness evaporated, and I never looked back."
His wife, Jo Anne, also credits their faith. "When I first knew I would be caring for him, I told the Lord that if he wouldn't heal Jack, he would have to work a miracle for me. And he has. What I once thought was impossible is now just a way of life. It has been a learning experience, but it has been a very rewarding one."
Rushton says he could not have "done anything without the support of my wife and children." Over the years, he says, he's come in contact with a lot of young men who have had similar injuries but have been "warehoused in care facilities, mostly abandoned by their families. They all died within a couple of years. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my wife of 46 years, our six children and 18 grandchildren. With their support, I have been able to do things I would never be able to do otherwise. Jo Anne especially has pushed me."
The children have all learned to provide necessary care, to deal with emergencies and take it all in stride. Their youngest daughter, Jackie, once said to her mother, 'If Dad were 'normal' like everyone else, life would be so boring!" She was 4 when the accident happened, says Rushton, "so this is pretty much how she remembers me, but we've always had a special relationship."
Son John, who was bodysurfing with his dad on the day of the accident, has been affected in a different way. John is now an emergency room physician. "I was 16 at the time of the accident, so I was involved in a lot of caretaking, spent a lot of time with him in and out of hospitals. That had a direct influence on what I've become."
He saw his father struggle in the early years, but little by little, he saw changes. "One day, he said it felt good to be alive. That was the start of his being alive. But he has really done something special. I view him as an example. When I struggle or have stress, I think if my dad can do it, I can. Not that he would ever put that on anyone. He never points to himself. He is honestly happy."
Jack Rushton meets a lot of people who are surprised by that. "My situation looks so grim; people think if they were in my situation, they would want it to end." But another source of his strength has been humor.
"I choose to laugh. And when I laugh, those about me laugh and don't feel sorry for me," says Rushton.
He was able to see humor in the time he broke a finger that got caught in a car seat. "I thought to myself, that must really hurt. And then when the doctor confirmed that it was broken and would have to be immobilized, I had to laugh. It's not like I could move it."
He has found other humor in his circumstances. "All my life, I wanted to be able to do one thing better than anybody else and was very unsuccessful. Then, I had my accident, and I thought, you know, maybe I can be the best quadriplegic on a respirator that ever lived. And then wouldn't you know it, Christopher Reeve goes out and breaks his neck, and I'm in competition with Superman."
Rushton wrote his book with the help of voice recognition software. "Technology is wonderful. I can do anything on a computer than anyone else can." He generally spends several hours a day at the computer.
It was such a blessing, he says, to find he could still be useful. "If you can still give service, then, yes, it is good to be alive." And that, above all, is what he want people to learn from him: No matter what life's timing throws at you, "You can come through any difficulty. Never, never give up.
e-mail: carma@desnews.com