Finding The One is no easy task.

A 2013 study from Siemens found that 73 percent of people feel that their current partner isn’t their true love. In fact, 17 percent of respondents said they met the love of their life even after they started dating their current partner.

"The survey highlighted some colorful revelations about people's love lives," said a spokesman for Siemens, Daily Mail reported. "The results showed it can be hard to find 'the one.' … What is alarming is that so many people claim to be in long-term relationships or even married to someone who isn't the true love of their life.”

The journey to find the love of your life can be difficult. In fact, YourTango, which publishes surveys about love and relationships, found that people have 285,000 to 1 odds of finding The One.

But all hope isn't lost. Here are 10 things you need to know about finding “The One” to put the odds back in your favor.

The One may not exist.

Plot twist. The One may not actually be real.

Heidi Priebe wrote for Thought Catalog last month that some people waste a lot of time searching for The One, even when he or she may not exist. In fact, love is such an important facet of life that people spend too much time searching for someone who meets their standards, which keeps them from meeting someone who will truly make them happy, Priebe wrote.

“If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for,” Priebe wrote for Thought Catalog. “Live your life as if you are the love of it. Because that’s the only thing you know for sure — that through every triumph, every failure, every fear and every gain that you will ever experience until the day you die, you are going to be present.”

Dan Savage, a relationship expert, said something similar in 2013. Here’s a video of Savage explaining how The One isn’t real and the concept is a myth.

You have to become The One

Pastor and author Andy Stanley has a simple idea in his new book “The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating” — instead of looking for The One, make yourself into someone else’s one, Stanley said in an interview this week with Relevant’s Aaron Cline Hanbury.

“The theme of the book is ‘we should become the person that the person we’re looking for is looking for,’” Stanley said. “Are you the person you’re looking for is looking for? The reason that’s important is because, in every area of life, we understand that preparation is the key to success, but when it comes to relationships, we think that, no, commitment is the key to success: I don’t need to prepare for a relationship, I just need to meet the right person and commit to that person."

The One may not be The One until later on

Amanda Jo of Elite Daily wrote in 2013 that her parents didn’t realize they were each other's Ones until later in life. She used this example to explain that finding love isn’t about finding The One, it’s about finding someone that will stick out life with you — through “the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad.”

She said that people who make each other happy should strive to keep their relationship alive as long as possible, especially when that relationship makes both partners stronger, smarter and wiser.

“If she makes you feel alive and makes your heart feel at home, you stay and you do whatever it takes to make it work because, like he said, there is no greater regret than letting your one find another one, and in those last final moments wishing you could change it all,” Jo wrote.

A list can help you find The One

Some may say The One doesn’t exist, or that you won’t see their love coming. But for those dedicated to finding their true love, creating a list of qualities you would like in a partner may be the best method to choosing the right person. Psychology Today’s Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., wrote in 2012 that the list should include 10 to 20 different qualifications, which should be written with simple phrases — like “doesn’t smoke” or “has a healthy lifestyle, Sarkis wrote.

The list can help people from falling in love with the wrong person.

“When you meet the girl/guy of your dreams, take a look at the list," Sarkis wrote. “Falling in love can cloud our judgment. Things that would normally be dealbreakers just fly out the window (Oh, you like to wear live animals as hats? I can work with that!’). Take a good look at your list. Does your beloved meet the items on your list? Don't worry if someone doesn't match all of the items, we're not looking for Mr./Mrs. Perfect — we're looking for Mr./Ms. Perfect-For-You. Meeting a majority of items is a good sign.”

The Huffington Post’s Dr. Carmen Harra offered 13 questions people should ask themselves before settling on The One, which may figure into your list.

The One may not be who you think it is

Relevant’s Margaret Philbrick wrote earlier this year that it’s never easy finding the love of your life. She said that she once compiled a list of features she wanted in a husband — believer, funny and good family — but it only led her to men who made her unhappy.

Philbrick suggests a more faith-oriented approach to finding your true love. You should seek someone who was made right for you, not someone you think would be best for you.

“It is about walking in all the beauty and color of God's will for my everyday life,” Philbrick wrote for Relevant.

The One gives us a false idea of love

Allison Vesterfelt wrote for Relevant that, among other things, the idea of finding The One puts a lot of pressure on each date or time we meet someone. She said the idea of The One makes people think that each potential suitor should act like a Prince Charming or Dream Girl. This then creates the false idea that love is a fairy tale.

“Romance exists, and it is beautiful, but it is not a fairy tale,” Vesterfelt wrote. “When it comes to love and companionship, are you waiting on fate, or walking in faith? The point of love and marriage is to fully commit to one person, yes. But it is only in your hands and God's timing that a someone becomes your one."

The One may come back to you

Earlier this year, people used social media to find their Ones who got away, The Telegraph reported. In fact, former lovers found each other through viral Facebook and Twitter posts, even though they had been separated for many years.

The Telegraph mentioned one story where Patrick Moberg, who met a girl on a Brooklyn subway train but lost sight of her before he could speak with her, was reunited with the girl after a sketchbook drawing of the two went viral across the Internet.

“It may not be a tale as old as time, but missed connections have become a standard feature of modern romance,” The Guardian reported. “But thanks to the massive reach of social media, brief encounters these days have the chance to become something more.”

The One isn’t always the same person for everyone

Think The One is someone who’s just going to sweep you off your feet in this romantically charged moment? No so fast, eager beaver.

The Huffington Post’s Kelsey Borresen reported in April that relationship experts have different ideas of what The One looks like, showing that true love is different for every person. For example, Winifred Reilly, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said she knew her partner was The One because he never ran out of things to say on their dates.

“Not once did we get bored or run out of things to say. I knew then that 10, 20, 30 years out, we'd still be talking, laughing, keeping life fresh and interesting,” Reilly said. “And we are."

It’s dangerous to call someone The One if they’re not

The Ambrose Girls at Elite Daily said there are some dangers to calling someone The One, whether or not it’s true. It puts a lot of pressure on your partner and throws them into a marriage-like relationship before rings are exchanged.

Similarly, it may put your relationship on the fast track to commitment when neither partner is ready for it.

“Now that you’ve applied the label, your mind is stuck on this relationship being your ‘forever,’” Elite Daily reported. “Most of us are stubborn as all hell, so we will move mountains and put up with a lot of BS just to prove we’re right. So, if your relationship really isn’t all that great, you’ll refuse to see it.”

There’s something you should do first before you look for The One

Dr. Phil McGraw has a simple tip for you to find the love your life — you have to find yourself first, according to an excerpt from his book “Love Smart: Find the One You Want — Fix The One You Got” published on The Huffington Post.

McGraw wrote that people need to understand themselves and their own desires before they can define what they want in another person. And once one does come to peace with who they are, it’ll make it easier for them to find the person they’re meant to share the rest of their life with.

“To get where you want to go, you’re going to have to rewrite the script of your life and make yourself the star,” McGraw wrote. “And you have to define who you want to be your leading man. Then you’ll know exactly who you are and what you’re looking for. No more trying to be all things to all people. No more trying to guess what some man wants and struggling to morph yourself into it. You are going to be the best you can be, rather than somebody you are not, and I promise that will be more than enough to create the love you want.”

Related links:

‘I love you’: A guide to saying those three powerful words

Why you don’t have to say ‘I love you’ anymore

14 songs to describe every moment of your relationship

Herb Scribner is a writer for Deseret News National. Send him an email at or follow him on Twitter @herbscribner.