New research suggest playful teasing and roasting builds trust in relationships. That may seem out of the ordinary. But the research backs it.
Research from Martin Luther University of Halle-Wittenberg in Germany may have found a surprising solution to keep your marriage or relationship strong — couples who tease or roast each other are happier together, Science Daily reports
The study of 154 couples found that the ones who laughed together more were more satisfied in almost every aspect of their relationships.
According to Science Daily, “the participants separately answered questions about their relationship, for example about how satisfied the partners were with their relationship overall, whether the couple often argued and how satisfied both partners were with their sex life. The researchers also investigated how the study participants handle being laughed at and whether they like to laugh at others.”
The best way to laugh together for many couples was playful teasing, or, as the UK scientists put it, “banter” — but only if partners are laughing together rather than at one another.
How exactly does roasting help?
According to The Sun, it helps your partner see that you pay attention to them, that you notice what they do and know who they are. It makes your partner feel seen.
“It’s looking at little quirks of people’s personalities and shining a light on them,” couples therapist Christine Elvin told Yahoo! News. “In many cases, it’s the quirks that your partner will love about you the most because that’s what makes you uniquely you.”
Don’t cross the line
But in order to continue building trust, there has to be a line, Standard Media reports. People should make sure not to tease their partner to the point of offending them, hurting their feelings, or putting them on the defensive. If that happens, it’s a sign to stop.
But as long as boundaries are respected, roasting has many benefits beyond just building trust, dating coach Laurel House told Cosmopolitan.
It can help create memorable inside jokes, make relationships more fun, and even give couples a lighthearted way to bring up small issues without a full-blown argument.
“Bringing up problems in this fashion helps you to softly address the hard stuff. Often times, just by shedding light on an issue can let your partner know you’re not into it,” dating coach Laurel House told Cosmopolitan.
The most important step
The most important step partners can take for their relationships is making sure they’re a team in everything, Elvin told Yahoo! News. For some couples, that includes a good old fashioned roast.