On July 12, 2024, I gave my closing speech at the National Governors Association Conference in Salt Lake City. I had spent the entire year traveling country and meeting with experts on the Disagree Better initiative, working with my fellow governors to try to reduce polarization and prevent political violence. Before handing the gavel to my successor, Democratic Governor Jared Polis from Colorado, I had one last chance to share what we’d learned and why the work of peacemaking mattered. “There is nothing that says that we are inevitably going to get better as a country, there is nothing that says that we aren’t going to continue to tear ourselves apart, there is nothing that says that we won’t inevitably have another civil war — it’s happened before and it can happen again. And it will happen again if we don’t do the work.”
Twenty-four hours later, an assassin’s bullet grazed President Trump’s ear.
He was at an open-air campaign event on July 13, 2024, in Butler, Pennsylvania, when someone sent a bullet straight toward his head. Thankfully, the shooter narrowly missed his intended target. The photojournalist Evan Vucci caught the moment in some of the most amazing photographs I’ve ever seen. I’m sure you saw them too. President Trump has his right fist in the air, his face splattered with blood. In some of the photos, his mouth is open as he yells, “Fight!”
I struggled to sleep that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about our nation, how divided we were and how close that bullet came to unimaginable consequences. The president and I were so different in our approach to politics, especially in my goal to minimize contempt, that I didn’t endorse him, or any candidate, in 2016 or 2020. Yet, I knew there was a very good chance that he would become president again, and for the good of the people of my state (and issues like the Great Salt Lake), I would need to work hard to have a positive relationship. I had been preaching Disagree Better and had even tried to use those principles to forge a friendship with President Biden, despite our serious disagreements (Utah sued the Biden administration more than sixty times during his presidency). Now I felt strongly that I needed to work harder to create a relationship with President Trump.
President Trump didn’t like me much, for not endorsing him in past elections. But we did agree on several policy issues like securing the border and helping working-class families. While many people supported the president in hopes of being named to a cabinet position or an ambassadorship, I wasn’t interested in any of that. I genuinely just wanted to forge a friendship that could benefit the state of Utah and her people. And while contempt was a major feature of his political success, I hoped maybe this assassination attempt could help convince him to take the off ramp, to break the cycle of retribution and help calm our country.
After church the next morning, with all of those thoughts circling in my mind during a ninety-minute drive to Fairview to visit my parents, I took out my iPad and started typing a letter to President Trump. First, I just told him how thankful I was that he was alive. Then I wrote, “In these dark times it would be easy — and justified — to lash out. To return hate with hate and violence with violence. And yet, I’m reminded of the words of our Savior Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:44, ‘But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.’ And then, as he hung on the cross between two common thieves, the greatest man to ever live, the literal Son of God, said, ‘Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.’
“Your life was spared. Now, because of that miracle, you have the opportunity to do something that no other person on earth can do right now: unify and save our country. I fear that America is on the precipice of unmitigated disaster. We need to turn down the temperature and find ways to come together again before it’s too late.
“Mr. President, I know we have some differences and you probably don’t like me much. And that’s OK. I get it. I’m not writing this letter looking for a position in your Cabinet or a role on your team,” I wrote. “I believe in our better angels, and I believe you are capable of being that kind of leader for this troubled nation. It is a huge burden to be placed on any person, but I want you to know that I pledge my support and I know that millions of others will rally to that kind of leadership.
“Thank you again for being a fighter and a survivor. Our country is on the verge of being torn apart. I pray we can avoid any more senseless violence and loss of life. We truly need a Lincoln to bring us together. Indeed it was Lincoln who said, ‘Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?’ You, and only you, can be that kind of leader for us today.”
I must admit that I hesitate to even write this section of the book. Both Biden and Trump are two of the most polarizing presidents in the history of our country. Just reading my interactions with these two people likely caused you to have an emotional reaction. If you consider yourself MAGA, you might be angry or embarrassed by my toast in the White House. If you are liberal or a Never Trumper, you may have recoiled at that letter and my decision to support President Trump. At least a couple people just threw this book across the room in disgust. Trust me, you aren’t alone.
Many people in my own party were angry when I went to the airport and said nice things about President Biden. My primary opponent used the photo of me clinking glasses with the president in attack ads against me and as evidence that I was no longer a Republican. I was called a traitor and a RINO and many worse things I can’t print here.
The backlash for the letter and supporting Trump was even more severe. Some of my closest friends begged me to change my mind. (I told one person that I had prayed about the decision. He responded — rather quickly — “Well, maybe you should pray again.”) A former Republican state senator responded with his own open letter in The Salt Lake Tribune, which included this line: “You have lost your credibility and relinquished your honor.” These can be dark and lonely times. Some of you have been on the receiving end of this sort of stigmatizing political judgment. Some of you have lost relationships over politics too. That’s one reason I felt compelled to write this book — for all of us to think about what is really important, and it’s not whoever you support at the ballot box.
But when I look back at those times now, I always think of the tense days after the Charlie Kirk assassination, when a reporter asked President Trump how he felt about my handling of the situation. “The state is very competent,” he said. “The governor is doing a very good job.” The reporter went on to ask what he specifically thought about my message of nonviolence. He responded, “Well, I agree with it. I agree with it 100%.”
While our public messages about the tragedy were significantly different, his vote of confidence for what I was saying helped to calm some very turbulent waters. Charlie’s death could easily have been the match that lit the tinderbox of a nation. However, that didn’t happen, and I hope that at least one small reason for that was the positive relationship that has developed between the president and me. It might have made it easier for him to trust my leadership and allow an off ramp to de-escalation.
While I was writing this chapter, President Trump invited me to the Oval Office. The meeting was supposed to last for fifteen minutes, but we ended up chatting for almost ninety. We talked about everything from saving college sports to tariffs, from Iran to immigration reform. However, there was one thing that I still desperately needed help with: saving the Great Salt Lake.
“Mr. President, the great saline or salt lakes are drying up all over the world. Once in decline, not one nation has been able to save their lake. Russia couldn’t do it, Iran couldn’t do it, China couldn’t do it, even California couldn’t do it. With more than two million people living close to the lake, the toxic dust would be a true environmental catastrophe. We have a plan, sir. With your help and support we can be the first country on earth to save their lake. I’ve promised the people of Utah that we will fill the lake by 2034 when the Olympics come back to Utah. But we can’t do it without you.”
He asked some probing questions and then the big one, “How much do you need?”
“We think we will need at least $1 billion, on top of the hundreds of millions we have already dedicated.”
He didn’t hesitate. “Let’s get after this. Losing the lake would be a real environmental disaster. Not like some of the fake ones people make up these days. And there’s no reason to wait until 2034. Let’s get it done now.”
He then motioned to his assistant that he wanted to send out a message of support on Truth Social and started dictating. I have to admit that watching President Trump tweet was like watching da Vinci paint.
“Very important to save The Great Salt Lake in Utah. This is an Environmental hazard that must be worked on, IMMEDIATELY — It is of tremendous interest to me. The people of Utah are spectacular, and they deserve to be helped. I am dealing with your very caring Governor, Spencer Cox, and we are going to make it all happen!” he wrote. Then he turned to me and added, “Make the ‘Salt Lake’ great again or make ‘the lake’ great again? Which do you prefer?”
“You are the expert, Mr. President.”
“MAKE ‘THE LAKE’ GREAT AGAIN! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP.”
While the president and I have pursued different paths on contempt and loving our enemies, I’m grateful that our friendship is strong enough that we can work on solving some of the biggest problems facing our country together.
In the immediate aftermath of the shooting of Charlie Kirk, I called for an end to political violence. This whole book is a continuation of that plea. I explained that political violence was an attack on the American experiment itself. I asked Americans, both right and left, to treat each other more respectfully. Or at the very least, to stop shooting each other.
When I spoke with President Biden, I hoped he would choose mercy over escalation. When I wrote to President Trump, I hoped he would choose unity over retaliation. In both cases, things didn’t turn out quite the way I’d hoped. It would be fair to suggest I failed. However, I’ve come to view the work of building off ramps as a process. Peacemaking rarely means an overnight conversion from divisiveness to unity. Progress can be slow and bumpy, and we have to give our relationships time. We have probably all been part of the problem at one point. My hope is that this book can be part of my own progress, and yours, toward finding our better angels.
From OFF RAMP: How to Be a Peacemaker in an Age of Contempt by Spencer Cox; Foreword by Jonathan Haidt, to be published on September 9th, 2026, by Penguin Press, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC. Copyright © 2026 by Spencer Cox; Foreword copyright © 2026 by Jonathan Haidt.