I called my friend George and asked what he was doing.
“Watching paint dry,” he said. “Most days, I just don’t know what to do with myself.”
Later, I talked to another neighbor about why he had retired and then gone back to work a few months later.
“I didn’t know what to do with myself,” he said. “I’ve never played golf or had many hobbies. Mostly, going to work was something that I could do. So, I found a job. I don’t like it all that much, but it gives me something to do each day.”
The toll of post-retirement boredom
Chronic boredom among older adults is more than a trivial symptom in later life. It is a nascent problem for many following retirement — an issue intertwined with loss of identity, cognitive decline and social isolation. Understanding its roots is important before constructing meaningful, adaptive strategies that restore purpose and vitality.
Boredom is more than empty time. It manifests itself not only in a lack of activities but also in a lack of meaningful engagement with others. When my Dad was forced to retire as a truck driver, he was at a loss on what to do next — after having worked two jobs much of his life. He was shy and had few friends. No one came to visit him and he didn’t go visit anyone else, either. He sat in a chair most days bored and looking out of the living room window watching cars pass by on the road in front of our house. It wasn’t long before he developed dementia.
Without a clear set of daily objectives, hours for many of us can stretch indefinitely into an endless haze. Boredom, not money, is the root of all evil, the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once said.
Like empty calories, boredom can keep us temporarily occupied but never well-fed, never satiated. Instead of committing to trying new endeavors or reaching out to others, a bored person ignores possibilities — claiming they are either too old, too tired or too broke.
Rediscovering curiosity, novelty and adventure
Humans thrive on novelty. On newness. On adventure. In her book “Tough Broad” Caroline Paul describes how new pursuits — from gentle birdwatching to extreme sports — can build cognitive health, physical vitality and community among older adults. For instance, she tells about a group of septuagenarian women who hit the San Diego surf to boogie board twice a week — along with an 80-year-old scuba diver and a 72-year-old who is a champion trail runner and orienteer.
This is about watching for pleasant, stretching opportunities in everyday activities regardless of our age and finding ways to experience awe in regular outdoor activities, Paul, who is in her sixties, writes that this is not about trying to act young or even be young-at-heart. “Being curious and brave and energetic aren’t just reserved for 20- or 30-year-olds,” she insists. “We’ve assigned them those attributes, but they belong to all of us.”
The risks of chronic boredom
Prolonged boredom is strongly correlated with anxiety and depression. When the mind lacks an external focus, it frequently turns inward, leading to repetitive, negative rumination over past regrets or future anxieties regarding health and mortality.
Brain health operates on a “use it or lose it” principle. A lifestyle characterized by chronic boredom lacks the cognitive complexity required to maintain neural plasticity, potentially accelerating conditions like dementia and cognitive impairment.
All this being said, it’s inaccurate to portray boredom in itself as threatening and dangerous. As parents of young children in our distracting society have learned, being able to sit with a quiet, uneventful moment is a good thing to learn and experience — at any age.
What we’re talking about here is a more drawn out pattern where stimulation of any kind decreases, mental engagement wanes and social connection recedes. The uneventful boredom that may be normal — even positive — in small doses, can turn out to be a real problem when it turns into a longer-term reality.
Yourself at any age
The belief that aging diminishes our capacity to learn is a persistent myth. Intellectual curiosity is one of the most potent antidotes to boredom. Learning a new skill, mastering a musical instrument, or diving into new hobbies enables us to shift from being mere consumers to becoming producers and creators. We become “in charge.” We set sail on our own self-determined course.
That’s what Laurie Terry did after retiring. She learned to play pickleball, then the piano and most recently mahjong. Instead of sitting on her couch, she is continually reinventing herself.
When we reject the narrative that aging is a period of passively winding down, we are better able to see possibilities that are already hiding in plain sight in front of us.
So is Brenda Bergmann. Unable to stay in her own home, she is now in an assisted living center. She only gets out when her friend Rachel Gubler picks her up each week to go grocery shopping. Rather than bemoan her situation, she is constantly visiting with others by attending musical performances sponsored by the center, welcoming new patrons and encouraging others to get involved in various activities when they first arrive.
When I visited her, she was at the head of a dining-room table, asking others about their family, their day, their activities.
“They call me ‘the Ambassador,’” she laughingly told me. “When I first came here, I was in the early stages of dementia. But I decided I wasn’t going to let that hold me back. I wasn’t going to just wait around for others to take care of me. Instead, I went around and met everyone here at the time. In the two years I’ve been here, my doctor says my dementia has not progressed at all. Maybe it will someday, but right now I’m making the most of every single day.”
Finding the spark
When we reject the narrative that aging is a period of passively winding down, we are better able to see possibilities that are already hiding in plain sight in front of us.
But that may take a little faith and courage. Boredom is an unvoiced declaration that someone wants to do more but is not quite sure what or how to do it. There is tinder, but no spark.
As you can see, banishing boredom is not merely about “keeping busy.” It is, instead, about finding adventure, engaging with others, making future plans, getting outside and — sometimes — purposefully doing absolutely nothing.