In her 90s, my mother often said that rather than getting frustrated with her declining abilities, she looked for humor in everyday situations. She’d often laugh at things she couldn’t do, like making her bed (she was practically a neatnik), going to the grocery store (someone had to drive her, no Amazon delivery back then) or opening childproof bottles (sometimes she used pliers to break them open).
She stayed upbeat even though she couldn’t drive, some body parts didn’t work very well (others didn’t work at all) and she mostly stayed in her house despite enjoying the outdoors all her life.
When family or friends would come by and ask about her health, Mom would typically reply by saying, “None of us are getting out of here alive, so we might as well enjoy ourselves while we are here.”
Like Uncle Albert in “Mary Poppins,” she loved to laugh.
Some good lines to try
There are plenty of things to laugh about as we grow older. And plenty of funny lines about older people, too. What makes them so funny is that, well, they are mostly true. At times, I use some of them to laugh at myself.
It sure feels better than complaining. Here are some of my favorites that I use whenever I can:
- “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people with the most live the longest.” — Attributed to late Catholic priest Larry Lorenzoni
- “As you get older, three things happen: First, your memory goes, but I can’t remember the other two.” — British comedian Sir Norman Wisdom
- “I read the scriptures a lot more lately: I’m cramming for my finals.” — Anonymous
- “At my age, I’ve pretty much learned everything; I just can’t remember any of it.” — A generic line often attributed to George Burns’ original: “By the time you’re 80 years old, you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.”
We have 2 choices
Life has an uncanny way of upending our best-laid plans, whether it’s a minor inconvenience like dropping a full cup of coffee on a clean floor or the broader, inescapable reality of growing older.
When faced with life’s inevitable plot twists, we generally have two choices: react with exasperation or learn to laugh. Embracing humor as a way of “laughing at life” is far more than a coping mechanism; it is a vital strategy for resilience, perspective and well-being.
Laughing at ourselves can actually benefit us as we age.
‘Cheers’ star Ted Danson keeps getting better
Ted Danson is one of those comedic actors who captures both humorous and poignant moments of growing older in a Netflix series called “A Man on the Inside.” It’s about a retired college professor whose wife has recently passed away and who is looking for something to do.
Eventually, he is employed as a part-time private investigator to look into a theft at an assisted-living center. It is both tender and playful, clever and disarming, sharp enough to cut through pretense yet gentle enough to engage even the most dour curmudgeon.
In his own life, Danson said that while nearing 80, he finds humor is an important aspect of living longer, better. In his typical self-deprecating manner, he told an interviewer that he is long past his Speedo-wearing days. Apparently, after meeting his future wife Mary Steenburgen, she convinced him that he was long past the “use-by” date for wearing the form-fitting swimwear.
Rather than resist getting older, Danson advocates embracing it. “I’m anti-anti-aging,” he said in a CBS Sunday Morning broadcast. He emphasized that it is important to embrace the present rather than either the past or future.
“Don’t compare yourself to your younger self,” he said. “Accept the stage of life you are currently in rather than looking backward.”
And embrace aging with humor. Danson points out that researchers have found that laughter physically improves well-being and memory. The Mayo Clinic agrees with him, reporting that laughter enhances the intake of oxygen to the brain, stimulates the heart and muscles in a positive way, and reduces tension and stress by increasing endorphins released in the brain.
From humor to a positive outlook
While humor, jokes and a positive outlook are related, they are not the same thing. Humor is an intentional effort that recognizes incongruities in life, while jokes are structured verbal devices.
Unlike formal jokes, which rely on rigid punch lines, finding humor in everyday experiences means adopting self-enhancing perspectives. This allows us to view frustrating or perplexing moments through a comical lens rather than taking every bump in the road as a personal defeat.
Over time, these practices can become roots for the broader creation of a positive outlook.
Research supports humor’s benefits
Rather than suffering more in life’s frustrating moments, humor lets your body and mind try out something different. A systematic review of the influence of humor found that self-enhancing humor (maintaining a comical perspective during difficult times) acts as a low-cost, effective strategy for psychological resilience and healthy aging.
Researchers have found physical, emotional and cognitive benefits from finding humor in difficult situations. In one study of over 14,000 older adults, people who laughed the least were the most likely to develop functional disabilities.
Apparently, being unable to adjust to changing circumstances or challenging situations can become a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy of weakening abilities. On the other hand, another study found that seeing humor in vexing or aggravating situations produced lower blood pressure and enhanced cardiovascular health.
Seems the Reader’s Digest feature was right so many years ago. Laughter really is the best medicine.