If real men drive trucks - and a significant segment of the Utah population subscribe to that notion - then who drives the Chevrolet C3500 Crew Cab "Dooley?"
The answer must be something like "really, really real men."The Dooley, so nicknamed for its dual rear wheels that allow it to tow railroad cars and carry small mountains in the bed (well, almost; gross vehicle weight rating is 10,000 pounds) is to regular pickup trucks what the Mazda Miata sports car is to the Ferrari Testarossa.
The Onyx Black '93 Chevy C3500 I've been driving this past week has brought me more envious stares from teenage boys of all ages than any ride I've had in recent memory.
In some effete cities - whimpy back-east burgs like New York come to mind - the only people driving trucks work for Con Ed. But in Salt Lake City, of the wild and wooly West, a jet black, 21-foot long, ultra-flare-sided, Crew Cab Dooley is the ride of kings, linebackers, power forwards (I once saw Karl Malone driving a jacked-up Dooley) and other immortals.
This truck also had the optional 6.5 liter turbo diesel engine, which I think is an excellent choice for this rig (standard engine is the 5.7 liter gasoline V8). Mated to the heavy-duty electronic 4-speed transmission, the diesel mill is a 90-degree V8 equipped with an integrated Borg-Warner turbocharger that gives the truck surprisingly quick throttle response.
This is important because when you're driving the king of the hill (with apologies to the Corvette ZR1) you want to acquit yourself well when the light turns green. The Dooley does, particularly since its massive size and height tend to intimidate lesser vehicles who might, if they dared challenge the king, actually be faster in the drag race department.
The other advantage of the diesel engine is that, depending on whether you have a lead foot and spend your days towing house boats back and forth to Lake Powell, the diesel can, says Chevy, provide a 25 percent to 80 percent boost in fuel economy over an equivalent gasoline engine.
Exactly what that means, though, is hard to say. The EPA does not publish fuel mileage tests on vehicles over 8,500 GVW so there are no published ratings for either the gasoline or diesel engines in this vehicle. Since I didn't have the truck long enough to run through the 34 gallon fuel tank, I have no clue as to what kind of mileage I was getting.
But what the heck. I don't think anyone buys a hero truck with fuel economy as even a minor factor in the buy/don't buy decision. You either want to rule the road up there with the 18-wheelers or you don't. Really, really real men (Or women, for that matter; the concept's the same regardless of gender) could not care less about fuel mileage and would never dream of asking.
Anyway, the diesel churns out 190 horsepower at 3,400 rpm and 380 foot-pounds of torque at 1,700 rpm. The downside, if it can be called that, is the usual rattling sound from under the hood characteristic of diesel engines that only adds to the machismo of the whole Dooley experience.
Ditto for the smoke that pours out the tail pipe when you go up hills. The fact is, the Dooley is a seriously un-Green vehicle. All motor vehicles are an affront to Vice President Al Gore and the rest of the Green generation, of course, but the C3500 diesel is like spitting in their collective eye. If you have any aspirations of one day joining the Sierra Club this is definitely not the vehicle you will want to buy.
Handling? Again, this is not a high priority for buyers of this type of vehicle. The rig is big, long, heavy, bounces badly even on the smoothest stretches of I-15 and its flare sides stick out so far that if you are not constantly alert (and spend at least as much time watching the rear view mirrors as the windshield) you can hook all kinds of things. Most people simply aren't used to driving a vehicle that is so much wider at the back than the front.
Also, regular garages and regular parking spaces simply don't suffice. This thing is almost 22 feet long, remember. In most parking spaces you will be hanging out at least three or four feet into the roadway - the price of domination, I guess.
The truck's heroic proportions work to your advantage when it comes to hauling people and stuff, however. The back seat of this four-door truck is truly humongous, with leg and head room that put the Cadillac Fleetwood I had a few weeks ago to shame. Usually, passengers suffer in trucks, but not the C3500 Crew Cab.
Let's talk money. Base price is a reasonable $18,143, but I can't imagine what a base model would look like. This rig I've been driving had more than $10,000 worth of options on it - that's correct, 10 thousand dollars - pushing the bottom line of the sticker to $28,383.
The culprits are the usual suspects: AC, power seats, windows and mirrors; "convenience group," which includes such things as tilt steering and some oddities such as $300 for a spare tire, $890 for the transmission and $2,255 for the diesel, $225 for a bedliner . . . a whole raft of things that turn this truck, originally conceived as a utility vehicle, into a very luxurious ride.
But that's where we've come. Trucks are no longer just for hauling things around; trucks now make a "statement" of everything their owner holds dear in life. To accomplish all that, maybe 28 big ones is a bargain.