Countless comedians have uttered these words at the outset of a cruise:
"You've come aboard as passengers, but with all the food here, you'll be leaving as cargo."Better weigh those thoughts. Oh, it's still possible to gorge yourself silly on around-the-clock dining alternatives. And some ships have yet to abandon the choco-holic buffet.
But following the trend on land, most cruise lines now offer heart-healthy options - vegetarian entrees, sugar-free desserts, even complete low-fat, low-cholesterol and low-sodium meals.
Aboard Celebrity's five ships, nightly "Lean and Light" full menus may include this recommendation: a shrimp cocktail, chilled gin and tomato consomme with straw mushrooms, veal scal-op-pine with lemon and frozen lemon yogurt with dark cherries.
Total calories: 782. Total grams of fat: 9.
Other lines offer similar enticements.
From Princess' "Healthy Choice" menu: spaghetti in fresh basil and tomato sauce, roast pork tenderloin with a corn muffin and warm Mediterranean salad and lime sherbet.
From Royal Caribbean's "ShipShape" menu: melon balls with port wine, tossed romaine lettuce and plum tomatoes with fat-free creamy roasted garlic dressing, baked lobster with citrus sauce and, for dessert, a phyllo purse with pears and raspberry coulis.
From Silversea's "Light and Healthy Cuisine" selections: marinated Greek salad; marinated pan-fried scallops served with capellini pasta, carrots and broccoli; and ice coupe peach Melba with diet ice cream.
From the "Light Selections" aboard Radisson Seven Seas' Song of Flower: a strawberry cup; a salad with curry vinaigrette; steamed rock lobster tail enhanced with saffron bouillon, vegetable pearls and boiled potatoes; and a tropical fruit platter with diet ice cream.
Light cooking expert Jeanne Jones has created 20 new lacto-vegetarian selections for Windstar's four sailing ships. Among them: pear and gorgonzola pizza, herbed vegetable strudel, Moroccan sweet potato stew, Cajun pasta and enchiladas with butternut squash and corn.
Among vegetarian entrees served aboard Royal Caribbean ships: a five-layer vegetable tart served with red pepper puree, stir-fried Chinese vegetables with tofu and Caribbean curried vegetables with black beans.
Carnival, the world's largest cruise line, spices lunch and dinner menus with "Nautica Spa" items such as poached sole with red bean ratatouille, steamed whole red snapper in coconut water and lemon grass and a low-fat pumpkin pie. Meats, fish and poultry are roasted or broiled, salads are prepared with diet dressings and desserts with Sweet 'N Low or Nutra-Sweet.
No mystery surrounds cruise lines' concentration on lighter, healthier cuisine: It's passenger demand.
Holland America officials cite these figures: In 1985, only 10 percent of that cruise line's passengers ordered fish when provided the option; today, almost 40 percent choose fish on Caribbean cruises and 50 percent order fish in Alaska. Another 10 percent order poultry.
As part of its "Passport to Fitness" onboard program, Holland America offers low-fat, low-calorie cuisine not only in its main dining rooms but also at buffets. A typical Lido Buffet salad bar includes 20 to 30 fresh items and a wide selection of light dressings. Cholesterol-free mayonnaise and other con-di-ments are provided.
Waves of change are sweeping over other aspects of shipboard dining, too.
No longer does a cattle-car mentality automatically prevail, with passengers herded into one humongous room at an appointed moment and spoon-fed course after course by singing waiters.
Fine dining has arrived at sea. In intimate settings. At flexible times. With preparations that would make a three-star Michelin chef proud.
Celebrity, at the forefront of this culinary revolution, even employs a three-star Michelin chef - Michel Roux, French-trained proprietor of the Waterside Inn at Bray in Berkshire, England - to create its menus and train onboard staffs.
Roux's approach is so exacting that photographs are posted on galley walls to instruct the kitchen staff not only food preparation but also on how each item should be placed on the plate.
Windstar passengers who don't opt for Jeanne Jones' light cuisine dine on creations by much-honored Los Angeles restaurateur Joachim Splichal, who has provided 180 signature recipes for the line. Choices may include sauteed crab cakes with brown butter and capers. Or braised lamb shank with garlic gnocci.
And Silversea has partnered with Le Cordon Bleu on special menu selections.